I’m half-assing it this weekend. Why? Because I can. A few years ago I invented the Half-Assed Weekend post to let bloggers off the hook of coming up with something interesting to write on the weekends. As a blogger you probably know your posts only get about half the views and comments on the weekends as they do during the week. So I say you should only put half the effort into those posts.
Oddly enough, my Half-Assed Weekend posts have been some of my best. Hmmm….
A few months ago the Lady Friend and I took a little weekend getaway to southern Minnesota and visited a bed and breakfast. Normally those are not my kind of places because you feel like you’re sleeping in some stranger’s spare room. Awkward! Especially because I tend to sleepwalk naked. But it actually turned out ok and we had a good time.
This little town has lots of quaint shops, cafes and coffee joints so we wandered around one of the days. While in a little shop on the town’s main street I walked around the corner and had this thing scare the shit out of me:
It is meant to be a hanger for baby clothes but the damn thing also looks like a baby. A flat, ugly, chubby, creepy baby. I quickly snapped a photo then got the hell out of there, worried that it was going to jump down off it’s hook and follow me.
Now it’s going to haunt you in your dreams. You’re welcome!
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Weekends | Posted on 09-06-2012
How the hell are ya? It’s the weekend and I don’t have to work, so I’m going to be lazy. There is a pool in our complex and I may go chill out there for awhile since it’s going to be in the 90′s both days. Maybe I’ll scare the neighbors with a little Nude Dude action.
Tonight I am meeting up with a couple buddies I haven’t seen in awhile so I am sure I’ll drink some beer and make an ass of myself. It’s what I do. And I am damn good at it.
I might be on Twitter later… are you following me? It’s @TheSimpleDude if you are not. Tweet at me any special requests for photos, thoughts or opinions you have today or tonight and i’ll do my best to oblige – in my own smart ass way of course.
In the meantime, I’m leaving you with a little something I found on the net. This may or may not be representative of people in my city of Blaine, Minnesota.
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Weekends | Posted on 14-04-2012
I have been too busy to write lately, which bums me out. So I am half-assing this post – hey, at least it’s something. And I have also been sick… which bums me out even more.
See THIS POST that I wrote awhile ago about mucus. It has become completely relevant all over again with this new cold I have been fighting. And no, I have not attempted the dehydrating thing that I mentioned in that post. The mucus has been free flowing. But I am getting close to desperation so there is a good chance I’m completely done drinking any liquids for the weekend.
Wait… does beer count? Alcohol dehydrates you anyway right?
Speaking of alcohol.. I am writing this on Friday night after having oh, I don’t know… 5 or 6 beers. Just enough to forget that I am sick! But not enough to keep me from trying to write a blog post.
And I was also playing Words With Friends with a buddy of mine and I have to admit, playing that with a buzz is both fun and frustrating at the same time. The only words I can think of are crude, dirty or.. well.. not words at all. Like assface. Or taint. Or fucktard.
Well, it is what it is. Guess I’ll crack open another beer. Incidentally, if anyone wants to play me in Words With Friends or Scramble With Friends go ahead and look me up… my user name is TheSimpleDude.
As Jewels from According To Jewelswill attest, I am easy to beat! She does it on a regular basis! In the game that is… she has never beaten me in person. As much as I may or may not enjoy that, I’m not sure my Lady Friend would approve.
Anyway… if you need an ego boost and want an easy win – look me up. Be sure to let me know who you are though!
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Weekends | Posted on 04-03-2012
As you know, I like to Half-Ass my weekend posts. The reason for this is because I’ve found that I only get about half the page views and half the comments as I do on weekdays. So to keep things consistent, I only put in half the effort!
The other day I was going through my phone deleting old pictures and came across the photo below. Last summer my Lady Friend and I went on a short weekend trip down to southern Minnesota. While wondering around the town we stopped at a marina on the Mississippi river and saw this giant trailer looking thing that I assumed was used to launch really big boats.
Is it kind of like No Glove, No Love?
As you can see, painted on the side was the saying “No Cash, No Splash”. I imagine this was their way of letting people know that if they wanted their big ass boat launched, they didn’t take credit cards or checks.
But the saying amused me and made me wonder what other businesses could benefit from using that same saying….
Like a combination Strip Club / Laundromat?
How about an underwater Brothel?
Or just someone who thinks very highly of their bathtub.
What do you think?
On a quick side note… one of my favorite followers ‘Timony Souler has started a new blog. She is a prolific writer and poet and also happens to have the coolest, sexiest Scottish accent you’ll ever hear. And you do get to hear it because she VLOG’s from time to time.
If you like poetry and good writing in general, please give this a click! Tell her I sent ya!
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in TV, Weekends | Posted on 19-02-2012
It’s no secret that I don’t claim to be some high brow kind of guy. I dig sports, beer and boobs. And farts make me chuckle. It is what it is.
I’m a simple dude who is entertained by simple things. And one of those things is when you catch some dope on TV making a weird face. You see it all the time, particularly with news anchors. I’m telling you, next time you’re watching Mr. Cool news anchor with the perfect hair, hit pause on your remote. Guaranteed giggle.
What a jackass
I paused this guy a few weeks ago and snapped a photo. It looks like someone just told him his pecker is on fire.
This is not sophisticated humor by any means, but it works for me.
This next one is not a moment caught in time, but a mugshot that was on the TV news. You know how some people just LOOK like what they are? For instance, there is a stereotypical look a librarian has right? Or a lumberjack.. you expect them to be a big dude with a beard.
How about stalkers? Would you expect them to look a certain way? Damn right. You’d expect them to look EXACTLY like this guy:
He sure as hell doesn't look like a librarian.
If I saw this guy just walking down the street I would assume he’s stalking someone. He has to be. Either that or he’s a carnival ride operator scouting their next stop.
Now the challenge you face is not letting these two creeps find their way into your dreams later tonight.
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Weekends | Posted on 04-02-2012
A few weeks back I watched the end of the FCS Football Championship game. If you’re not a sports person, that’s the college football national championship game for smaller colleges.
Anyway… North Dakota State was the team that won, which makes the news around here as lots of their players are from Minnesota. At the end of the game the winning team was out on the field celebrating, as teams who win championships typically do.
And just as typical. the team that lost (something called Sam Houston State) was sulking on the sidelines. But one player was doing more than sulking and it was accidentally caught on TV:
Sore loser... or just an asshole?
See the dude on the right? It was one of those moments that was only on TV for a few seconds and I wasn’t sure what I was seeing, so I had to rewind. And sure as shit, the dude is giving the middle finger to all the celebrating players on the winning team.
Unfortunately all we see is his finger and they panned away very quickly. But thanks to live TV and DVR technology I was able to freeze that moment and snap a photo!
It’s the weekend now… and I personally had a long tough week at work. So I am taking inspiration from this sore loser and giving the finger to the week I just finished.