It Was A SIMPLE Wedding

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Blogging, House, Lady Friend, Vacation | Posted on 08-07-2013

It’s been awhile.  I didn’t even realize just how long it had been since my last post until I logged in to start writing this one.   It’s been a busy six weeks for me.  No I haven’t been in jail, on the run from the law or kidnapped by pirates and taken to a sweat shop on a tropical island, forced to make eye patches and wooden legs.  Though in a sick way that sounds kind of fun.

As you probably guessed based on my posts over the last few months I am now married.  The Simple Dude is no longer a Single Dude.  I guess that makes me a little less Simple these days.

The Lady Friend and I tied the knot on June 1st in a quick little ceremony.  Then we went up north to a kick ass little resort along the north shore of Lake Superior for a few days, just to get away.  We’ll plan to do an true honeymoon this winter.  You know, someplace warm – away from the cold bitter hell that is a Minnesota winter.

Here are a couple pics I took that week “up north” as the kids around here like to say:

Split Rock Lighthouse

Split Rock Lighthouse

North Shore of Lake Superior

North Shore of Lake Superior

It was a beautiful week up there.  I’ve never been to the Pacific Northwest part of the U.S. but have always thought that the north shore of Superior is probably similar.  The Lady Friend (or The Wifey??) and I are big into hiking and those pics were taken along a couple of our hikes.  Then at night we’d crack open a bottle or two of wine and sit out on the deck right above the lake, listening to the waves crash while we got loopy!

If I had known getting married would be this relaxing I might have tried it before!

A few weeks after the wedding we had a big party at our house.  We just moved into this place last summer so this served as both a reception and sort of a house warming party since a lot of friends and extended family had not seen our place yet.  That was a little stressful as we had more than 80 people come throughout the day.  But it was a good time.

Oh and we got some cool free shit and took in a bunch of cash.  Damn I love presents.

That pretty much gets you all caught up on my life.  Marriage has been pretty cool, though to be honest we have been living together for nearly 3 years now so being married hasn’t changed much.  Though I do have this annoying ring om my finger that I am just now finally getting used to five weeks later.  I’ve never been a jewelry kind of dude but I’m coming around.

AS FOR THIS BLOG…  there will be some major changes.  I am not completely abandoning it, but will be changing things up in the coming months.  I’ll tell you more about that in my next post, hopefully within a week or so.  The changes will help me to write more offline yet still stay in touch with you peeps.

Stay tuned…



The Countdown Is On

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Lady Friend, marriage | Posted on 15-05-2013

The Lady Friend and I are getting married in about 2 1/2 weeks and my bachelor party is next weekend.  Scary!


I wrote one last article at The Indie Chicks website about our wedding plans and the small reception we’re having at our house.  The tough part was deciding who does and doesn’t get to come over and eat and drink on me.  I plan on getting lots of people drunk.  I don’t offer that kind of service every day!

Click on over and read all about it…  and in the next few days I’ll have a post about the NHL Blogger Bet that has now concluded.


Here is a hint…  it didn’t have a happy ending for your Simple Dude.


Wedded Bliss Here I Come

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Lady Friend, Uncategorized | Posted on 04-04-2013

If you have never been to The Indie Chicks website you are missing out.  Don’t let the name fool you either, it’s not just about Chicks or just for Chicks.  I myself have spent plenty of time reading articlesthere and I am not a chick.  Not even close.  I have also written a few articles over there myself promoting my book.  You’ve read that right?  No?  Come one, it’s hilarious!

As you may or may not know… the Lady Friend and I are getting married this summer.  And coincidentally The Indie Chicks recently asked if I would be willing to write a few more articles for them.  So I decided, what better topic to write about then the end of my life!  My single life that is.  Jeez, I hope my Lady Friend doesn’t read this.

Since I am not your typical groom, getting married for the very first time at the ripe old age of 40, I thought I could bring a unique perspective to a whole process.  Which is what I am doing over the course of a few articles over there.

The first one went up today and is published under my pen name Jon.  I know, what a weird name to choose right?

I’d love you like a case of beer if you did me a favor and clicked over to read it.  And please comment there – I’d love to hear what you peeps think!

SD aka Jon


Here Comes The Bride…zilla.

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Lady Friend | Posted on 15-01-2013

As mentioned here a few weeks ago, the Lady Friend and I are now engaged.  After I wrote that post as well as the one about the toot candle last week, I thought it would be a good idea to have her write a post.  A post about HER side of the whole getting married story.  

I have to say… after reading it.  I’m a bit scared.  Here she is:


by the Lady Friend

I’m sure you’ve all heard the bad news by now. Yeah, I’m tying the knot. Wait, did I write bad news?

After seeing life as I know it slowly slip away, I couldn’t help but think of the things I will no longer be able to do or say once I’ve made that fateful step. For example, sarcastically telling my married friends with kids… “Yeah, really sucks that I’m unmarried without kids and get to do whatever I want every day,” is a thing of the past.

Same goes for the times I’m asked to do housework and boldly reply, “Do you see a ring on my finger?” And what about when Brad Pitt’s car breaks down and he stops by to use the phone? I won’t be able to answer the door in my best Victoria’s Secret lingerie, “Husband? Oh I’m not married, please, come on in.”

But in all reality, it’s not THAT bad. After all, I now have the means to finally be the Bridezilla I’ve aspired to be.

I'm screwed right?

I’m screwed right?

During the next few months I plan to make my wedding the most significant event of 2013. First thing is to refer to it as MY wedding, because it is after all MY day. The statement “you will not ruin MY wedding!” shall be uttered numerous times over the next few months and can occur at any moment on the actual wedding day.
My plan is to run this shindig as if it’s my own personal empire and each person in my bridal party is an unpaid intern.

All plans for a bridal shower and bachelorette party will be micro-managed by me — no decisions will be made without my prior approval. Each of these parties will be held in inconvenient locations on absurd dates and times that are only convenient to me.

I will schedule the bridesmaid dress fitting for a day where an ice storm is expected. This fitting, of course, will occur five months before the actual wedding and my expectation will be that the dresses appropriately fit. I will insist that no one gains weight and for those who cannot fit into a size 4 or smaller will be forced to lose weight by all means necessary.

Two weeks before the bachelorette party is to take place, I will be changing it’s destination to be somewhere out of state, maybe Vegas? I will expect everyone to drop what they are doing, pay for their flight, and make this trip memorable.

Registering for gifts will be an experience since I’ll pick out everything that’s difficult to find in local area stores. Everything on the list will be chosen by yours truly, for yours truly.  SD can be happy with his old underpants full of holes and a 20-year old drill that barely works.

I’m sure you all have at least one bridezilla story with some bride uttering… “This is MY wedding, we’ll do it the way I want!” and now it’s my time.  :)


Uh oh.  I’m assuming she’s kidding… sort of…  she has to be right? 



NOSE Offense?

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Holidays, Lady Friend | Posted on 08-01-2013

First of all I wanted to thank all of you for your kind words and condolences..  oops I mean congratulations on my engagement to my Lady Friend.  As of last week we’ve been together over four years, living together for more than two and generally happy with each other for a good couple months.  So why the hell not get engaged?!

We’re going to tie the knot this summer in a very small, Simple ceremony.  What else would you expect?  I’m sure I’ll share more with all of you as the date approaches and we start to make plans.  Maybe I should live VLOG the wedding for you all to watch here?  Ummm….  no.

On to other things…  I have been meaning to share this with everyone since Christmas.  The Lady Friend and I give each other traditional wrapped presents but as many people do we also stuff goodies into stockings for each other.  It’s all under this bizarre ruse of Santa, as if he is taking time to visit the house of a 40 year old swearing, drinking a-hole in Minnesota who doesn’t have any kids.  Lucky me!

This year in my stocking there was a square wrapped present.  I opened it up and started laughing immediately.  It was a scented candle.  What is so funny about a scented candle?  Take a look at the packaging:



My Lady Friend desgined the entire thing, printed it out and wrapped it around the candle like it was store bought.  I honestly didn’t know it was NOT store bought until she told me.  I told her we should mass produce those labels, slap them on some cheap candles and sell them as novelties!

Ok, maybe that’s not the best idea I have ever had, but this was a brilliant gift.  It’s sitting right next to me and my spot on the couch.  I refuse to say whether or not it has been lit.


P.S.  Any of you who find me even slightly amusing should know the Lady Friend is far funnier.  And she’s creative to boot!  Maybe I’ll talk her into writing another blog post for me in the near future.


New Year. Ch-Ch-Changes.

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in House, Lady Friend, Work | Posted on 03-01-2013

Every year we strive to be better people than we were the previous year and every year we fail.  Ok, I guess I’m only speaking for myself when I say that.  Maybe you don’t fail.  Maybe everything you wish for comes true and everything you set out to achieve comes through.  Lucky bastard.


Fine, I can’t say I fail every year, but over the course of my life I’ve tried to make various improvements via resolution from one year to the next… with mixed results.  Things like losing weight or getting into better shape.  Or finding a job I love that pays a million bucks per year while only requiring me to work about 20 hours each week.

I have written here in the past about making New Years Suggestions as opposed to resolutions.  Suggestions are different than resolutions in that if you don’t stick to them you don’t have to feel any guilt.  Not that you should feel guilt over a failed vow to cut back on the chocolate or stop “nagging” your spouse so much.  I mean, if they’d listen to you once in awhile you wouldn’t have to nag right?  Sheesh.

But for once I think I succeeded in making my life better in 2012 than it was in 2011.  Think about three of the major things in a person’s life:  their house, their job and the one they love.  In each case I made an improvement.

No I didn’t dump my Lady Friend for a younger model…. I’ll get to my improvement regarding her later.

But we did buy a new house together.  A house that’s much bigger than the town home we were living in up until June.  We’re very happy here and it didn’t take long at all for the place to feel like “home” to us.

I also got a raise at work.  Not the big raise I was hoping for (or deserved) but at least it was something.  And at the end of the day I like my job so I’ll probably stick around for awhile.

That brings us back to the Lady Friend.  This was the last major change 2012 brought me, having happened just last week.  We got engaged.  Yep, I am going to make the Lady Friend an honest…  Lady.  At this (ahem) later stage in life we decided a small, very simple ceremony is best for us.  And we plan to have it this summer, probably early June.

So I guess 2013 will bring another new change with her too.  I won’t be able to keep calling her my Lady Friend will I?

Better start thinking of a new nickname….  Wifey?  Ball And Chain?  Better Half?  The One Who Tells Me To Stop Farting So Damn Much?

Yeah…  that one might be it.  Thatreminds me… she got me a hilarious present for Christmas.  I’ll try to take a photo if it and share it with you next time.


Closing Time

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Lady Friend | Posted on 25-06-2012

I’m going to be a bit scarce here this week.  We close on our house today at 1pm and that’s when the craziness starts.  We have to be moved out of the town home and have it all cleaned up and ready for our renters by Thursday night.  Time to see what kind of crazy shit is growing under the couch… ewww!

As it is the house is currently a jumbled mass of boxes – the dog is kind of freaked out.

Since we may have a day or two without internet I probably won’t have a new post this week but will still be on Twitter @TheSimpleDude if any of you want to hit me up.  Maybe I’ll even tweet a pic or two of the new place.

HOWEVER….  I have a special treat for you tomorrow.  I’m re-posting something I wrote when I moved in with my Lady Friend back in October 2010.  Lots of you are new since then, and I think you’ll like it, it’s funny and one of my all time favorite posts.

I’ll tease you with this… there is something all Dudes have had at some point in their lives, and at some point you were forced to make a decision on what to do with it.  What is it?

A box of porn.

Yep, I went there.  Oh, and yes I know some of you ladies have a box of porn too.  At least the cool ones do anyway.  Come back tomorrow to find out what I did with mine.