It Was A SIMPLE Wedding

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Blogging, House, Lady Friend, Vacation | Posted on 08-07-2013

It’s been awhile.  I didn’t even realize just how long it had been since my last post until I logged in to start writing this one.   It’s been a busy six weeks for me.  No I haven’t been in jail, on the run from the law or kidnapped by pirates and taken to a sweat shop on a tropical island, forced to make eye patches and wooden legs.  Though in a sick way that sounds kind of fun.

As you probably guessed based on my posts over the last few months I am now married.  The Simple Dude is no longer a Single Dude.  I guess that makes me a little less Simple these days.

The Lady Friend and I tied the knot on June 1st in a quick little ceremony.  Then we went up north to a kick ass little resort along the north shore of Lake Superior for a few days, just to get away.  We’ll plan to do an true honeymoon this winter.  You know, someplace warm – away from the cold bitter hell that is a Minnesota winter.

Here are a couple pics I took that week “up north” as the kids around here like to say:

Split Rock Lighthouse

Split Rock Lighthouse

North Shore of Lake Superior

North Shore of Lake Superior

It was a beautiful week up there.  I’ve never been to the Pacific Northwest part of the U.S. but have always thought that the north shore of Superior is probably similar.  The Lady Friend (or The Wifey??) and I are big into hiking and those pics were taken along a couple of our hikes.  Then at night we’d crack open a bottle or two of wine and sit out on the deck right above the lake, listening to the waves crash while we got loopy!

If I had known getting married would be this relaxing I might have tried it before!

A few weeks after the wedding we had a big party at our house.  We just moved into this place last summer so this served as both a reception and sort of a house warming party since a lot of friends and extended family had not seen our place yet.  That was a little stressful as we had more than 80 people come throughout the day.  But it was a good time.

Oh and we got some cool free shit and took in a bunch of cash.  Damn I love presents.

That pretty much gets you all caught up on my life.  Marriage has been pretty cool, though to be honest we have been living together for nearly 3 years now so being married hasn’t changed much.  Though I do have this annoying ring om my finger that I am just now finally getting used to five weeks later.  I’ve never been a jewelry kind of dude but I’m coming around.

AS FOR THIS BLOG…  there will be some major changes.  I am not completely abandoning it, but will be changing things up in the coming months.  I’ll tell you more about that in my next post, hopefully within a week or so.  The changes will help me to write more offline yet still stay in touch with you peeps.

Stay tuned…



New Year. Ch-Ch-Changes.

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in House, Lady Friend, Work | Posted on 03-01-2013

Every year we strive to be better people than we were the previous year and every year we fail.  Ok, I guess I’m only speaking for myself when I say that.  Maybe you don’t fail.  Maybe everything you wish for comes true and everything you set out to achieve comes through.  Lucky bastard.


Fine, I can’t say I fail every year, but over the course of my life I’ve tried to make various improvements via resolution from one year to the next… with mixed results.  Things like losing weight or getting into better shape.  Or finding a job I love that pays a million bucks per year while only requiring me to work about 20 hours each week.

I have written here in the past about making New Years Suggestions as opposed to resolutions.  Suggestions are different than resolutions in that if you don’t stick to them you don’t have to feel any guilt.  Not that you should feel guilt over a failed vow to cut back on the chocolate or stop “nagging” your spouse so much.  I mean, if they’d listen to you once in awhile you wouldn’t have to nag right?  Sheesh.

But for once I think I succeeded in making my life better in 2012 than it was in 2011.  Think about three of the major things in a person’s life:  their house, their job and the one they love.  In each case I made an improvement.

No I didn’t dump my Lady Friend for a younger model…. I’ll get to my improvement regarding her later.

But we did buy a new house together.  A house that’s much bigger than the town home we were living in up until June.  We’re very happy here and it didn’t take long at all for the place to feel like “home” to us.

I also got a raise at work.  Not the big raise I was hoping for (or deserved) but at least it was something.  And at the end of the day I like my job so I’ll probably stick around for awhile.

That brings us back to the Lady Friend.  This was the last major change 2012 brought me, having happened just last week.  We got engaged.  Yep, I am going to make the Lady Friend an honest…  Lady.  At this (ahem) later stage in life we decided a small, very simple ceremony is best for us.  And we plan to have it this summer, probably early June.

So I guess 2013 will bring another new change with her too.  I won’t be able to keep calling her my Lady Friend will I?

Better start thinking of a new nickname….  Wifey?  Ball And Chain?  Better Half?  The One Who Tells Me To Stop Farting So Damn Much?

Yeah…  that one might be it.  Thatreminds me… she got me a hilarious present for Christmas.  I’ll try to take a photo if it and share it with you next time.


What Cold White Hell Is This?

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in House | Posted on 13-12-2012

Last weekend I wrote a post about the snow event we were having.  At the time I wrote the post I was estimating we had about 5 inches of snow on the ground.  Turns out that was just a taste.  A little white powdery tease.

Side note…   “little white powdery tease” was my nickname in college, but that is a post for another day.

At around 10:00am Sunday morning I opened my back patio door, snapped this photo and posted it on my blog:

And that was merely the appetizer as the snow kept-a-coming.  Late that afternoon I snapped this photo:

Right before I took that photo I went outside to do some shoveling .  To my dismay the unthinkable happened.  Yep… this:

Yes the shovel snapped IN HALF like some kind of freakin’ toothpick.  I guess I don’t know my own strength.  Of course it’s my own stupid fault for not using my snow blower to begin with.  Yes… I own a snow blower and yet I was out there shoveling.  There is something manly about the first big snowstorm of the year and being out there shoveling.  Stupid.  The snow blower was much better.  And I am still a man… mostly.

The next morning when all was said and done I estimated about 13 total inches of the cold white hell dropped onto my driveway and sidewalk.  I opened the back door one more time to take this photo:

Amazing.  Even by Minnesotan standards.  By midnight Sunday the snow was all done falling but the commutes to and from work were still shitty on WEDNESDAY.  Ugh.

Oh well… global warming was fun while it lasted.



Got Shovel? Come On Over!

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in House | Posted on 09-12-2012

We’re getting the first real snow fall of the season here in our new house. I’ve already gone out and shoveled once and the way it looks will be back out there again later tonight.  Our dog TOWPO has been in the back yard eating it all morning.  Weird dog.

After I shoveled the driveway I regretted not taking a photo first, then realized I could be lazy and snap a photo out the back door.

The local weather people are calling it Snow-mageddon. I prefer Snow-pocalypse.

I’m guessing we have about 5 inches of this crap so far and it’s showing no signs of stopping.  Good thing I have some corn for popping.  And the lights are turned way down low…. so…

Tie A Bow… Do Some Blow… Let It Snow!


P.S. Have you liked my book on Facebook yet?  Will  ya?  Please?


It’s My Ho Ho Home

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Holidays, House | Posted on 05-12-2012

A few weeks ago the Lady Friend and I decided to attempt something that neither of us have ever done.  At least not on our own.

Put up Christmas lights.

I would not like a house like this. Well.. ok, maybe just a little.

We both like Christmas lights, but between laziness (on my part) or living in town homes / apartments (on her part) we never had the opportunity to do it in the past.  And now having our house together, and this being our first holiday season living in this house, we decided to give it a try.  Though at 5pm last Saturday I was regretting this decision big time.

For starters, when we were still talking about putting up lights the weather was warm, unseasonably so.  Like late September nice, even though it was actually late November.  Then by the time I got around to actually doing it the weather had turned – including one day with a high temp of about 20 degrees.  Ironically this past Monday, the day AFTER we put the finishing touches on the lights the temp was back to 60 degrees.  Figures.

But the finger freezing, ladder slipping, icy roof weather was only part of the reason I was pissed.  It was the indecision that really bugged me.  The Lady Friend and I both were to blame since we had never done this before.  Lights went up, lights came down.  Then more lights went up, followed by those coming down to be moved elsewhere.

The Lady Friend and I don’t fight.  We just don’t.  Whenever one us is being irritating we call them out on it, which usually results in us laughing about it.  It’s probably the only relationship I have ever been in with this kind of track record.  And Saturday put us to the test.

But I got over it and the end result was a house we’re pretty happy with.  We wanted subtle – no Clark Griswold Christmas Vacation shit here.  And I think we got it.

Simple and Subtle. Just like me.

Especially considering this was our first time – we really had no idea what we wanted until we saw it hanging.  It would be complete with lights around the garage doors but with vinyl siding and a vinyl door frame I will need to get really creative in how they are hung.  Maybe next year, as I get closer to Griswold status.

If you look really close you can see TOWPO (The One Who Poops Outside) the dog sitting in the window of the front door wondering what the hell her two owners are doing standing in the middle of the damn street.

Now if we could only get some SNOW then it would actually look like Christmas.  If we do I’ll share another photo.

Ohh…. and one more thing.  Head on over to to see another excerpt from my new humor book 101 Things To Do Before The Apocalypse.  And remember, bloggers can get a FREE copy!  Click here for details.



I’m Thinking Thicker Is Better

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in House | Posted on 12-11-2012

A few weeks back I bought some big lawn bags to use for leaves and all the other dead vegetation crap that accumulates in the yard this time of year.  I didn’t even think about what I was buying, or even noticed this while I was using them.

But my Lady Friend pointed something out as we were pulling out of the driveway the other day… the picture combined with the marketing they use for the bags is a little… uhhh…  suggestive:

Thicker is better… right?

The placement of his hands with the word THICKER has me a little uncomfortable.  And now that she pointed it out to me, it’s all I can see.  Maybe it was a subliminal purchase…  and while I thought I was just buying bags, my subconscious had something else in mind.

I’m glad the yard cleaning is done for the year, otherwise I may have had to wrap some duct tape around that thing.  The box of bags that is.  The people designing this packaging are either completely clueless…  or complete geniuses.



A Simple Autumn

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Food, House | Posted on 16-10-2012

Today’s post is a visual one… along with some random thoughts from me.

Minnesota, like much of the country, is a very pretty place in the fall.  Everywhere you look you see colors representing the season.  Golden yellows, burnt oranges and bright reds.  My backyard is no different.

Alright, enough is enough. Drop the leaves already.

That tree is one of the last ones in my yard to still have most of its leaves.  What it’s holding out for I do not know.  I have raked a bunch of leaves from the other trees, and yet this one just refuses to drop for me.  Maybe it’s waiting until it snows.

When I see red, yellow and orange leaves in trees while walking through a park or in a neighbors yard I stop and admire nature’s beauty.  But when I see them on trees in my own yard?  I curse at them, knowing I’ll soon be out there raking them – one of my least favorite things to do in life.

Another thing that happens this time of year is people decorating their yards with Halloween stuff.  Ghosts, goblins, pumpkins and all that happy crap.  There is a a house in our neighborhood that goes all out:

Ooooo… spoooooky!!!

It’s really hard to capture what they do in a lousy night time photo, they have a lot going on that I didn’t get in this picture and they have also added a lot since this picture.  They have added a half dozen giant lighted inflatables, skeletons, black cats and a big blow up tree with a face on it.  That one scared me a little.  But my favorite part is a tombstone in the middle of the yard.  On it reads:

Here lies the last dog who pooped in our yard.”


A few weeks ago the lady friend and I went out to dinner at a restaurant called Baker’s Square.  For those who don’t have them in your area, it’s similar to a Perkins or Denny’s except they specialize in pie.  VERY GOOD pie.  Going to a place like this for dinner is not a big deal normally, but there is something about it I would never admit to my friends… we went on a Saturday night.  At 5:30pm.  Then went straight home after.

We were BY FAR the youngest people there.  Ugh…  So this is what it’s like being 40 huh?

Oh, and the reason we went there?  We had a coupon.  Ha!  But we also went there because I absolutely has to try this:

Did they put bacon on a pie? Oh hell yes they did!

It’s called the Salty Hog and it’s “Amaze-Balls” as the kids would say.  It’s basically a french silk / chocolate cake flavored pie with roasted almonds and salted caramel.  Oh, and the best part?  It has FREAKIN’ BACON on top!

I think it was a limited time kind of thing, but I am holding my palms to the sky praying to the good Lord above that this thing comes back.  If you get a chance, you have to try it.