I have said this here before, but strange things happen just to the east of us. Odd situations with weird people. Things most of humanity just can’t understand. These things happen in the unusual and sometimes disturbing place known as Wisconsin. There are some incredibly messed up people living in that state. Ok, not ALL of them are messed up… and yes there are some freaks here in the land of 10,000 lakes too.
But every few weeks I come across a story of some new perversion or idiocy coming from the land of cheese… Wisconsin. The latest “Only in Wisconsin” moment comes to us from the city of Racine and involves this man… Tyree Carter. He gets a special distinction. According to the Wisconsin courts he is now:
“BANNED FROM EVERY LIBRARY ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH”
As you can imagine, it takes more than just reading to get banned from a library. It takes masturbation. Out in the open. For everyone to see and no desire to hide what he was doing. Yep, that’s what our friend Tyree was up to. This may be a tough ban to enforce… what if he decides to do a little reading in Romania. Or check out some books in Bangladesh. Or visit a Library in Lithuania. Or do some fiction aisle fondling in France. Will his picture be posted on bookshelves around the world?
“Beware of this Jerker”
“Have you seen this chicken choker?”
“Caution: Book loving banana buffer on the loose.”
But I get the feeling his love of books is secondary to the love.. uhh… of himself. So maybe the libraries of the world are indeed safe. Even so, you may be safer to stay home with your kindle… and read my book!