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The Library Lurker
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Stupid People | Posted on 18-03-2013
I have said this here before, but strange things happen just to the east of us. Odd situations with weird people. Things most of humanity just can’t understand. These things happen in the unusual and sometimes disturbing place known as Wisconsin. There are some incredibly messed up people living in that state. Ok, not ALL of them are messed up… and yes there are some freaks here in the land of 10,000 lakes too.
But every few weeks I come across a story of some new perversion or idiocy coming from the land of cheese… Wisconsin. The latest “Only in Wisconsin” moment comes to us from the city of Racine and involves this man… Tyree Carter. He gets a special distinction. According to the Wisconsin courts he is now:
“BANNED FROM EVERY LIBRARY ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH”
He’s a book-loving clown-boxer.
As you can imagine, it takes more than just reading to get banned from a library. It takes masturbation. Out in the open. For everyone to see and no desire to hide what he was doing. Yep, that’s what our friend Tyree was up to. This may be a tough ban to enforce… what if he decides to do a little reading in Romania. Or check out some books in Bangladesh. Or visit a Library in Lithuania. Or do some fiction aisle fondling in France. Will his picture be posted on bookshelves around the world?
“Beware of this Jerker”
“Have you seen this chicken choker?”
“Caution: Book loving banana buffer on the loose.”
But I get the feeling his love of books is secondary to the love.. uhh… of himself. So maybe the libraries of the world are indeed safe. Even so, you may be safer to stay home with your kindle… and read my book!
SD
Wonder how many people saw his book worm?
Posted on: Mar/18/2013@8:34 am
@JustKeepinItReal: Your comment is awesome.. I needed that after spending 50 minutes driving to work (normally 20 minutes) in the snow this morning!
Posted on: Mar/18/2013@10:56 am
Been there…
Poor guy. Libraries are generally so empty these days that you’d figure a guy could spend some time with himself in peace…
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Posted on: Mar/18/2013@1:26 pm
That’s a really hard sentence the judge laid on him.
Before I read why he was given such a strange sentence, I was day dreaming about how neat it would be to be a cop put on his case. You would get to follow him all over the world with all expenses paid. Then I saw what he had been up to and I realized that would be a terribly hard act to follow, especially if you had to watch and report his actions.
He must have been performing atop the library tables. He looks too large to fit in an aisle between the book shelves of any library I have ever been in and especially so if he were doing his dirty deeds in the aisles.
Too bad he wasn’t given a lengthy prison sentence. Think of how happy he could have made all the gay guys in the prison library.
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Posted on: Mar/18/2013@1:48 pm
That is just sick. What is this world coming to.
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Posted on: Mar/18/2013@5:40 pm
Hey Guys, Don’t judge the book by the cover……
Posted on: Mar/18/2013@5:48 pm
Ok there are some strange people around and he sounds like one of them and it is easy to say you are banned from someplace hard to enforce though……..
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Posted on: Mar/18/2013@10:40 pm
Oh wow. When I read the first part of your post I thought “I’ve been banned from a library before!” (how often do you get to share that distinction with anyone??) – but then I read the reason WHY he was banned and now I’m feeling awkward about having associated myself with this guy. Believe me, my library antics weren’t even remotely like that. I do love books though.
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Posted on: Mar/20/2013@5:37 am