Everyone You Know Is A Liar

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Food | Posted on 22-01-2013

We are a misleading society.  It may be a popular saying, but one thing we certainly don’t do is “tell it like it is.”  Because the truth is usually not enough.  Not enough to get “it” done, whatever “it” happens to be.

You could be satisfying your boss by telling him you’ve accomplished more work on a certain project than you actually have.  You do this because you’re lazy and don’t want everyone to find out.

Or maybe you’re bragging to friends about the fish you caught, the deal you snagged at the outlet mall or the number of miles you ran this weekend.  For about 80% of the population you can take whatever number they are telling you and subtract 10 – 15% if you want to narrow in on the truth.

If you’ve done the online dating thing you understand this too.  People will tell you they have a certain body type, a certain income range or a certain amount of hair (on their head or body) and often these are distorted versions of reality.  In situations where you get to see this mystery person’s picture, the photo they share is taken in perfect lighting or taken from the perfect angle.  And it’s usually 8 – 10 years old.

It’s what we do.  We mislead.  We are a bunch of pricks.

It’s not limited to bragging, online dating or pulling the wool over the eyes of our boss.  Complete strangers mislead us every day, people we’ll never meet or have any contact with whatsoever.  No, I’m not talking about scum sucking politicians, though they are a special kind of misleading bullshitters.

I’m taking about food companies.  I myself was duped just the other day.  I bought a little instant meal thing at the grocery store with the intention of bringing it to work for lunch.  The picture on the box looked good…  sort of a Ramen noodle knock off but with actual flavor.

How do you screw up Ramen noodles??

How do you screw up Ramen noodles??

But NOOOO….  As you can see by the actual bowl, my meal didn’t come anywhere close to matching the photo on the box.  And it tasted like crap too.  It was more like cardboard flavored Ramen.  There are few things as disappointing in life as having the lunch you brought to work turn out to be bad.  You feel cheated out of your money AND you’re left being hungry for the rest of the day.

That is unless you steal a coworker’s lunch and blame someone else.  You know, keep the deception thing going in a “pay it forward” kind of way.

Liars… every one of us.


P.S. Check out this new Blogger who just started following me: Seattle Sitter.  She swears, bitches and judges everyone she meets.  And seems to have no filter whatsoever.  Is it possible I have a twin sister I never knew about?



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