More Cushion For The Pushin’?

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Stupid People | Posted on 09-10-2012

I know that human beings get strange sexual urges.  Hell, the internet is basically driven by strange sexual urges, mixed in with a few websites on music, news and crappy bloggers.  And before the internet came along it was the back pages of newspapers you’d only find in shady parts of town.

Side note:  Who remembers those shady newspapers?  Do they still exist?  I remember as a teenager, my buddies and I would marvel at the listings for escorts and the like, daring each other to call.  Kind of like a real life version of that Tom Cruise movie Risky Business without all the tighty-whitey dancing.  We never did call – so my innocence stayed intact.

Back to urges.  I try to not judge people for their strange behaviors especially if they keep their oddities inside the walls of their homes.  What do I care what you’re doing at home?  Just be sure you wash up before you leave.

However, I read a bizarre report recently of someone who did not leave their urges at home.  He took them to the streets… literally.  This guy lives in Wisconsin and as I have reported here a few times, the people in Wisconsin are insane.  Anytime you hear some wacko, pervert, nutcase story it’s almost always from our Cheesehead friends to the east.  Especially if the story involves alcohol.

In this case I think the guy was stone cold sober.  So what was he doing that was so outrageous?  He was engaged in a sexual act on the street.

An off duty police officer jogging down this street noticed a guy who, from a distance appeared to be having sex with a woman on a couch that was sitting out at the end of a driveway.  As he got closer he realized there was no woman.  Just a man…  humping a couch.  An old dirty couch someone had left out for the garbage dude to pick up.

Here is the guy and the object of his affection:

Between you and me, I think the couch could do better.

Upon seeing the cop the weirdo hopped up off his cushioned lover and ran down the street, escaping for the time being, only to be arrested the next day.

I’ve heard of some weird acts, but couch humping?  Is this a thing?  Am I missing out on something?  Our couch is leather and nothing about it has ever seemed sexy to me.

If you think I may be making some portion of this story up…  I assure you I am not.  Give this a click to read all about it.

SD

 

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