09
More Cushion For The Pushin’?
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Stupid People | Posted on 09-10-2012
I know that human beings get strange sexual urges. Hell, the internet is basically driven by strange sexual urges, mixed in with a few websites on music, news and crappy bloggers. And before the internet came along it was the back pages of newspapers you’d only find in shady parts of town.
Side note: Who remembers those shady newspapers? Do they still exist? I remember as a teenager, my buddies and I would marvel at the listings for escorts and the like, daring each other to call. Kind of like a real life version of that Tom Cruise movie Risky Business without all the tighty-whitey dancing. We never did call – so my innocence stayed intact.
Back to urges. I try to not judge people for their strange behaviors especially if they keep their oddities inside the walls of their homes. What do I care what you’re doing at home? Just be sure you wash up before you leave.
However, I read a bizarre report recently of someone who did not leave their urges at home. He took them to the streets… literally. This guy lives in Wisconsin and as I have reported here a few times, the people in Wisconsin are insane. Anytime you hear some wacko, pervert, nutcase story it’s almost always from our Cheesehead friends to the east. Especially if the story involves alcohol.
In this case I think the guy was stone cold sober. So what was he doing that was so outrageous? He was engaged in a sexual act on the street.
An off duty police officer jogging down this street noticed a guy who, from a distance appeared to be having sex with a woman on a couch that was sitting out at the end of a driveway. As he got closer he realized there was no woman. Just a man… humping a couch. An old dirty couch someone had left out for the garbage dude to pick up.
Here is the guy and the object of his affection:
Between you and me, I think the couch could do better.
Upon seeing the cop the weirdo hopped up off his cushioned lover and ran down the street, escaping for the time being, only to be arrested the next day.
I’ve heard of some weird acts, but couch humping? Is this a thing? Am I missing out on something? Our couch is leather and nothing about it has ever seemed sexy to me.
If you think I may be making some portion of this story up… I assure you I am not. Give this a click to read all about it.
SD
Right about now some poor West Virginia Fan , or family for that matter, is horrified that a perfectly good couch was mistreated in such a way out in the front yard.
Such activity as you discribed is usually reserved for the back porch.
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Posted on: Oct/9/2012@8:42 am
I don’t even know what to say. People have fetishes, I get it. I may not understand it, but still. A couch?
Posted on: Oct/9/2012@9:26 am
Just when you thought people couldn’t get anyu weirder…
gina valley recently posted: Laugh Log – Shat
Posted on: Oct/9/2012@9:29 am
Not as bad as the guy in the UK busted twice for putting his thing in a motorcycle exhaust pipe, but pretty close.
cw martin recently posted: Weekend leftovers
Posted on: Oct/9/2012@10:01 am
I heard about this on the radio last week, unless it was another couch thumper…just when you think you won’t be surprised by anything there is always some wacky doodle from Wisconsin that pops up.
Posted on: Oct/9/2012@10:07 am
Now imagine getting the full frontal view of something like this happening and then having to get up on the stand and testify. Did that just last week, and hopefully its the only time I need to talk about a man and his penis in public….with an audience.
Sophie S recently posted: Inspiring Young Women to Know Their Beauty #DoveInspired
Posted on: Oct/9/2012@11:03 am
OK, EWWWW… Seriously???? This guy needs a VERY good shrink… Don’t you think?
Susan Cooper recently posted: Choices: Story
Posted on: Oct/9/2012@12:18 pm
“Between you and me, the couch could do better”–hahahahaha.
Also, call you imagine that poor couch’s silent mouthless scream as Mr. Creepy (oh, c’mon he looks TOTALLY creepy) comes to make his sexy sexy moves?
Posted on: Oct/9/2012@4:33 pm
Almost nothing surprises me anymore…and sadly I’ve heard of this particular fetish before…though taking it to the streets is a new level of creepy. Ugh. What is wrong with some people?
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Posted on: Oct/9/2012@8:25 pm
Ewwww. But like you said…that’s wisconsin!
Posted on: Oct/9/2012@8:39 pm
At least it wasn’t a sheep.
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Posted on: Oct/10/2012@6:56 pm
My oh my I dont think I’ve ever heard of this …wow people are strange! By the look of the creep doing I would not want to know what he does behind closed doors eww!
Posted on: Oct/10/2012@11:09 pm
haha I agree with you, the couch could have done soo much better!
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Posted on: Oct/11/2012@1:42 pm
Oh couch humping is all the rage in the… NO WHERE. Just looking at this guy makes me think he’s the couch humping type. Can you imagine any sane human wanting to look into those eyes while reaching for the golden ring? I think not.
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Posted on: Oct/11/2012@9:39 pm
I was with the majority on this one until i saw the couch.
I mean, did you SEE that couch?
That couch is just screaming for it, going out in public like that, lookin’ all sexy. I don’t usually swing that way, but…
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Posted on: Oct/12/2012@10:47 am
I seriously know someone that humps couches. He is a friends brother. No joke. It’s terrible, but oh so funny! He does it inside though. One thing I have never understood is how sexual urges are so strong for some people that they actually indulge in them, even though they are completely unacceptable!
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Posted on: Nov/15/2012@9:42 pm