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Sex Talk From My Dad
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Family, Holidays | Posted on 15-06-2012
Melissa at Life As A Monkey Mom tweeted out the following question on Wednesday… possibly to include answers in a Father’s Day themed post.
And I responded with a brief version of a story from my high school days. It was a memory I had not thought about in many years, but when I did it made me laugh. And with it being Father’s Day weekend – I figured it was as good of a time as any to share it with you!
This had to have been back when I was about 17 years old, probably just starting my senior year of high school if I remember right. As kids who are bored in class tend to do, my buddies and I would pass notes to each other. But for the most part the only thing on the notes were hand drawn pictures of penises. Or nonsensical bragging about our fictional conquests with girls. Remember, these were the days before cell phones.
Note To Kids: People used to write notes to each other instead of texting. Crazy huh?!?
However, on a rare occasion those conquests were truthful. As in with myself and the girl I had just started dating. And I had been bragging about her within this note. At the end of the class I was the last one with the note so I stuffed it into my pocket. Somehow later that night at home the note must have slipped out of my pocket.
I didn’t even realize it was missing, and had frankly forgotten all about it. Until a couple days later when I was sitting at the kitchen table eating some cereal before heading out to school. My dad just walks by, tosses the note on the table in front of me and says…
“Hey. Don’t go getting that girl pregnant.”
And then walked away. I was pretty embarrassed, especially thinking it was likely my mom who found the note and tasked my dad with talking to me.
That was seriously the one and only conversation he and I have ever had regarding sex. Thanks dad!
Happy Father’s Day weekend to all you dads out there!
And on a side note.. have you been to Dude Write yet? Check it out! It’s a cool new blogging site for Dude writers like me. But you don’t have to be a dude to read it… so no matter what your private parts look like, please go check it out!
SD
My dad. He told me lots of important things. Like you will need to learn to budget. And also such gems as ‘if you are gonna do something illegal make sure that nobody knows’ And also ‘they can’t stop me from making alcohol/buying firearms/shooting off fireworks, this is a free country.’ Dad, man he was a hoot.
Holly Folly recently posted: Cutting Hay the Really Hard Way.
Posted on: Jun/15/2012@8:24 am
Reminds me of the time my Dad said if I ever landed in jail to not bother calling until the next day because he would leave me there overnight anyway.
Kinda rough but it kept my nose clean.
Doug recently posted: The Next Big Thing
Posted on: Jun/15/2012@8:26 am
Sounds like my Dad, his best advice was if I got arrested he does not know who I am.
Kevin recently posted: What To Do?
Posted on: Jun/15/2012@9:37 am
Good advice. Sounds like it worked, anyway. The embarrassment factor must have been huge!
My dad has never given me advice directly as such. He’s just been quietly there, making me think and having a lot of faith in my ability to get on with things.
I think the thing which makes me most proud and happy was a story my mum told me. I’d been dumped quite harshly just six weeks before my wedding. My ex left me for one of the bridesmaids, who was supposed to be my friend. It was all quite nasty and our little social group became divided.
For about a month I was a total basket case and then I started to grow and change at a super accelerated pace. I was feeling quite positive and happy and doing really well when my mum told me that she had been remarking on my swift bounce back to my dad. she said that she told him she was glad to see I was doing O.K. because she’d been really worried about me. Apparently all he said was, “Of course she’s O.K. I never worried for one second.”
I love that my dad has always believed in me.
Kaitlyn recently posted: Choice
Posted on: Jun/15/2012@9:52 am
I love that. Short and sweet. The fact that you remember that after all these years says he certainly got his point across. Happy Father’s Day to you and your Dad
Susan Cooper recently posted: A Father’s Advise For His Daughter
Posted on: Jun/15/2012@11:28 am
My grandfather of all people had the “relationship talk” with me sometime last year. I was driving the van while we delivered our publication and he was riding shotgun in the back due his gout flair up. The only way to have stopped said conversation (which was a bit one sided) would have been to drive the damn van off the mountain. It all came about because a couple friends of mine wanted to introduce me to a guy they knew. Just introduce, nothing major. My grandfather (bless his heart) was all concerned because he thought it was moving too fast. I told him that my friends just wanted me to meet the guy; wasn’t like I was going to run off and marry him – AND that I trusted my friends to not set me up with a known ax-murderer. His response? “Oh you trust your friends? Well that’s good.” OMG. Then he proceeded to give me relationship advice he’s gained from his 4 marriages, and that he’s just concerned about me meeting this guy because he “knows what guys want.” Being that I’m now in my 30s, I think I’ve figured that out, too, and told him as such.
Evidently THAT is what stopped the conversation there. I was mortified that he felt that his 30-something year old granddaughter needed that conversation. I know he was trying to look out for me, but still . . . lol
J.Day recently posted: Dear Granddad:
Posted on: Jun/15/2012@12:00 pm
Awkward!
It is a fine line between looking out for your kid and being all up in his (or her) business. I shade towards the latter
WG
WilyGuy recently posted: What Did You Call Me?
Posted on: Jun/15/2012@12:34 pm
That’s more of a sex talk than I have ever had with my dad! That would still be embarrassing though!
workingdan recently posted: 50 Shades of Clay
Posted on: Jun/15/2012@12:44 pm
Wow what an appropriate sex talk. He assumed you knew what you needed to know. Re-emphasized the most important thing. And after that you must have known it would be okay to talk to him.
The wisest thing my dad said to me was when he was walking me up the aisle to get married at 17. He said, “You don’t have to do this.” That’s the only thing he ever said about it. And it was awesome of him to say it then considering he had just spent a bunch of money on a weddeing. And he was right. I shouldn’t have done it cause I divorced the bastard 6 years later. Of course then I wouldn’t have my daughters, so, nevermind.
Judy, Judy, Judy recently posted: DRUNK POSTING, ONLY NOT DRUNK ON BOOZE SO MUCH AS DRUNK ON JENNY LAWSON AND POSSIBLY SLEEP DEPRIVED
Posted on: Jun/15/2012@12:45 pm
What a cool sex talk………….lol
I don’t remembere ever getting a sex talk from either of my parents
Jo-Anne recently posted: Lipstick, Lip Balm or Chapstick Or None Of The Above
Posted on: Jun/15/2012@7:49 pm
Best Father’s Day post I’ve read so far! Well, I’ve read a few other good ones – but they were more of the very sweet sort. It was great to get such a laugh!
Question though. Why were a bunch of guys drawing penises for each other? I would have thought that if you were exchanging secret notes in class – you would have gone with drawing boobs at least? Please do explain
Posted on: Jun/16/2012@7:42 am
I’m shamelessly posting a second comment because I’m not sure if my blog linked up the first time around.
Lady in Red recently posted: The Creepy Dude Write Trespasser
Posted on: Jun/16/2012@7:49 am
@Lady In Red: Yes, drawing penises for each other may seem a little odd, but if you are bored in class and really want to get a reaction out of one of your friends, a hand drawn penis – possibly with a face, maybe even wearing a hat – is far better than boobs!
Posted on: Jun/16/2012@9:12 am
I never got “the talk” from my father. I did, however get it from my mother, complete with illustrations. It is still painful to think about.
Bill Dameron recently posted: My Father, Myself
Posted on: Jun/16/2012@9:14 am
Thanks! I still don’t get it
but that’s probably because I’ve been misinformed for so many years. I’ll try and readjust my line of thought. Although… seems like boobs with with faces or hats might work.
Haha…. ok, just occurred to me – this is exactly why you guys need Dude Write!
Lady in Red recently posted: The Creepy Dude Write Trespasser
Posted on: Jun/16/2012@11:02 am
Ah fathers. You can’t live with them, you wouldn’t be alive without them.
Posted on: Jun/17/2012@3:44 am
Nicely done by your dad – concise and to the point, the only sex talk ever needed!
Daniel Nest recently posted: My correspondence with a scammer
Posted on: Jun/17/2012@10:10 am
This is really a great story to tell us.. Actually, I can never talk with my dad about private things maybe because we are not used to it.
Posted on: Jun/17/2012@7:21 pm
How embarrassing was that? My dad would have killed me. He was from the Ozarks hills and he taught me how to be an all around proper lady. He, of course, never talked about sex. We learned that from his hidden magazines (wink wink). Hey we had to learn some way.
“Reminds me of the time my Dad said if I ever landed in jail to not bother calling until the next day because he would leave me there overnight anyway. ” This is what I told both my children too, lol.
Sheila recently posted: Late Night Musing
Posted on: Jun/18/2012@3:51 pm
That was pretty good advice from Dad though right!! lols.
Hey Monkey Butt recently posted: Music For A Tuesday: NIN
Posted on: Jun/19/2012@2:42 pm
Unfortunately, I had a much deeper conversation with my father when it was time for “the talk.” It was very, very scary.
Youngman Brown recently posted: Gettin’ Digits On Mother’s Day
Posted on: Jun/19/2012@4:37 pm
It’s my mom. But it wins and it goes like this, “Pregnancy will end, but herpes is forever.” Then she rolled over into her margarita and fell asleep.
Posted on: Jun/24/2012@11:05 am