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Rock Of Ages? Or Crock Of Crap?
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Music | Posted on 29-05-2012
Back in the mid to late 1980′s I was an impressionable teenager. What does this mean?
It means I’m old.
But it also means I came of age during the height of the “hair band” era. And yes, I was a willing participant. In high school I bought the CD’s (and tapes before that), went to a ton of concerts and even had long hair. Even before high school I knew I liked rock music – bands like Led Zepplin, Van Halen and Rush were early favorites of mine.
And then came Def Leppard. And Bon Jovi. And Poison. At first those bands didn’t do it for me but I quickly discovered something very important…. chicks dug them. And I dug chicks. That was good enough for me! It didn’t hurt that the girls who liked the rock bands seemed to be the hottest girls. Hey, I was a teenage boy, what do you expect?
This is Poison, circa 1987 or so. Seriously, chicks were into this!
Soon I was buying music from those types of bands and going to see them in concert. After awhile, the music grew on me. There is nothing ground breaking about any of it and the bands weren’t out to change the world, but it was a fun time – it’s too bad I can’t post any of my teenage long hair photos without ruining my anonymity! Though people that know me now probably wouldn’t recognize that version of me anyway.
As someone who lived through this time I’m completely uninterested in that new Tom Cruise movie Rock of Ages. I know it’s based on the Broadway musical and I was completely uninterested in that too. They both look awful.
In many ways those bands were tongue in cheek and truly should not be taken seriously. Poking fun at those bands and that music makes sense… I get that. But if you’re going to make a movie highlighting that time and music why not make a GOOD one?? Instead of some crappy hair sprayed Glee wannabe piece of crap… which is exactly what Rock of Ages looks like.
The movie Rock Star with Mark Wallberg was good, as was Wedding Singer. But beyond that there isn’t much showcasing the 80′s that’s worth watching. Some may say that era of clothes, hair and music sucked anyway so why bother. Sure, but I’ll argue the 90′s was even worse.
Someone needs to make a movie showcasing the 80′s the way Dazed And Confused highlighted the 70′s. That movie was amazing.
That’s all I got. Maybe one of you will go see Rock of Ages when it comes out and tell me I’m wrong. But I doubt it.
Oh… and for those old enough to remember these, all of the following were big favorites of mine:
Motley Crue, Ratt, Tesla, Kix, Britny Fox, The Cult, Cinderella, Warrant, Skid Row, Dokken, Great White, LA Guns, Guns & Roses, Whitesnake and many more.
Am I alone in admitting this?
SD
In the 80s I was a fan of Peter Gabriel. The Police. Sting. Sex Pistols. The Clash. I entered the 80s loving Styx and Supertramp but then punk rock and Peter Gabriel’s weirdness took hold of me. I was the chick with high top baskeball shoes (my leather used up Converse WERE my dancing shoes), skinny jeans so skinny the feet could barely make it in or out (hello pealing off pants) and the bandana tied to the thigh…
I loved the 80s. Laughed at the 70s. Thought the 70s was the worse fashion time ever and cut through every single tee and sweatshirt like I was the star of Flashdance… Who’s laughing now???
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Posted on: May/29/2012@9:38 am
The 90′s started strong, and if it wasn’t for the resurgence of boy bands and the spice girls, the 90s could have achieved much more of its potential. The 90′s took the silliness that rock was heading shaved its head, took inspiration from punk, and went back to grungy basics. And it was magical.
Does it compare with the 70s, shit no, but the 90s stood back, looked at the 80s and shook its head.
Posted on: May/29/2012@9:52 am
I’m too young to remember most of the 80′s stuff firsthand, but it’s always seemed to me that the hair metal was alright if considered as POP.
If considered as metal, it runs into problems.
Of course, most of the 80′s stuff works best as kitsch, and the hair metal is no different.
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Posted on: May/29/2012@10:04 am
I love 80s hair band music…and I emphasize music, the looks….not so much. I will probably watch the movie when it gets released on Netflix…
Posted on: May/29/2012@10:09 am
Great list of bands, but like you, I’m going to pass on the movie. I just don’t like Tom Cruise’s work, and the previews just look to cliche for me. If anything, putting on a “Hair Bands of the 80′s” CD will be just as riveting as the movie.
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Posted on: May/29/2012@10:13 am
I for one won’t be proving you wrong about that movie because I plan to skip it too.
As for the 80′s, I wasn’t a teenager back then, but still old enough to remember most of it, including the hair bands. Some of their music was decent, but overall they never really grew on me.
Posted on: May/29/2012@10:37 am
@Rusty: I am a 70′s fan too… musically anyway. The fashion was awful. God awful!
@Katy: Kitsch! That is the perfect way to describe pretty much the entire decade.
Posted on: May/29/2012@11:18 am
I’m an 80′s baby so i grew up in the 90′s but all those bands you listed were and are awesome. That’s what rock music sounded like. I listen to some of today’s stuff but more and more I find myself going back to the classics, those you listed, some 90s stuff (DMB, Metallica, etc.) Frank Sinatra and music from the 50s because new music just plain sucks.
None of today’s groups are even going to be remembered in 10 years. Led Zepplin is how old and every generation there’s a batch of kids discovering and loving music that for them is almost 30 years old. That’s REAL music.
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Posted on: May/29/2012@11:21 am
Yes you are alone here… loved loved the play, eager to see the flick even with Mr Cruise.. total brainless fun!
Posted on: May/29/2012@11:56 am
@Crazy Tragic: You’re right about today’s music… very little of it will have the lasting power that some classics from the rock era has. Led Zepplin’s music is actually 40 years old – gasp!
One thing I should clarify for everyone. Don’t get me wrong here, I am not living in the past every day, trying to recapture my youth by driving around in a t-top Firebird listening to Motley Crue. Occasionally I will hear some of that old music on the radio and not turn the station – but that’s about it.
Posted on: May/29/2012@12:31 pm
There’s no way I’d be paying money to see Tom Cruise in a movie like this. I don’t buy him in many parts, and a rocker is definitely not one of them. 80s rock ruled and still does. I’m happy I was a teen in part of those years!
Bon Jovi was always my favorite. And remember in the early days of MTV when Motley Crue’s “Home Sweet Home” dominated the weekly top 10 or whatever for like 20 weeks? Awesome.
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Posted on: May/29/2012@12:40 pm
I think Marie Nicole up there & I might be soulmates! No srsly though, that was my music during the 80′s, but I prob leaned a bit more toward the Smiths, Depeche Mode, and Echo & the Bunnymen. I was never a “fan” of the hair-metal bands, per se, though I made it a point to go see Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet Tour, because of the girls I knew would be there!
I’m certain you’re right, SD, about Rock of Ages. I may never know, because I never plan to watch it.
Posted on: May/29/2012@2:11 pm
Considering I still go to see every 80′s hairband in concert that is still alive and kickin’, you can laugh all you want at me, but I’m still rockin’ and havin’ a damn good time!!!!
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Posted on: May/29/2012@2:18 pm
Big hair bands make me puke, I’m an 80s brat and will agree the 90s though the clothes were a tensy bit better, not enough really. lols. Those movies you listed off were AWESOME though!!!
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Posted on: May/29/2012@2:50 pm
Hey now!! Don’t be poking fun of us 90s kids. Just cause we liked to look like poodles with our tacky perms and big bangs don’t be hating! We were WAY cooler than you 80s kids, just ask us.
All joking aside, I have absolutely NO desire to see this type of movie and agree with you on all EXCEPT the 90s being worse than the 80s for obvious reasons. lol
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Posted on: May/29/2012@3:57 pm
You know youre not alone when I’m in week 5 of my eighties countdown!
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Posted on: May/29/2012@5:16 pm
Have seen things about this movie but it is not something I will be bothered with
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Posted on: May/29/2012@6:54 pm
I absolutely hate Tom Cruise, so I refuse to pay to go and see any movie that he is in.
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Posted on: May/29/2012@7:09 pm
I LOVE Motley Crue and still enjoy the hell out of their concerts! I was big of Guns back in the day, Cinderella too. Nothing gets me going like some White Snake “here I go again”…LOVE that song. It’s in my top 5 for sure. There is no way I’ll be watching the bastardization of music I love.
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Posted on: May/29/2012@8:19 pm
I heard of some of these bands, but not their music.
I knew that was Tom Cruise! I just saw the trailer for it today. I am sorry to say that I WILL be watching it. The fact that he is in a cult was enough for me to stay away from his films, but it was difficult. Seeing him play a vampire in Interview With the Vampire…well, he was my Edward. There’s something so beautiful about Tom Cruise with long hair. I can’t miss that.
Posted on: May/30/2012@2:33 am
Loved the stage show, so much fun and I reckon you would ave enjoyed it, if only for the gorgeous girls singing in lacy lingerie.
I might go to see the film out of curiosity. Not a huge Tom Cruise fan but I love the music and it would be interesting to see just how they treated the story
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Posted on: May/30/2012@7:51 am
Nope. definitely not!!!
That’s all I have to say for the moment. 
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Posted on: May/31/2012@6:49 pm
Rock is the most complete music genre and the musicians are virtuous, something unknown today. The Eighties are alive.
Posted on: Jul/29/2012@6:28 am