25
A New Way To Make Eating Ice Cream Look Dirty
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Food | Posted on 25-01-2012
The other day I was enjoying an ice cream cone – as one should do. It’s one of my favorite foods, truth be told.
And as I was finishing it, I had a memory come flashing back. Does that ever happen to you? You’re doing something routine, and are suddenly reminded of a memory from your youth – maybe something you haven’t even thought of in years. It’s like stumbling through a doorway in the long, dark, dusty hallway of your distant memories.
The cone I was eating was one of those kinds that comes to a point at the bottom. On a side note, those cones are annoying as hell. You can’t even set them down. What are you supposed to do if you have to quickly answer the phone, scratch yourself, fry an egg or box the clown. That’s not a masturbation euphemism – there is a clown in my neighborhood with a mean right uppercut.
Anyway, I was finishing up the cone the other day and this memory pops into my head. When I was a kid eating those pointy cones, I would sometimes hold them up and bite off the very bottom tip. Then as the ice cream melted and slowly dripped out I would eat it from the bottom.
I tried to explain what I used to do, to my Lady Friend. Unfortunately the cone I was eating was gone so I didn’t have a way to visualize the concept, and it wasn’t getting through to her. So I had to mime what I would do with the cone after biting off the bottom tip.
The Lady Friend is more creative than I am, so she depicted what she THOUGHT my childhood ice cream experience must have looked like:
As you can or can’t tell by the drawing, what I was doing to mime slurping ice cream out of a cone gave her an entirely different picture than what was intended.
And after seeing her intrepretation I can only imagine what it looked like I was doing in our living room, while trying to tell her the story. My innocent childhood memory was turned into a cheap, dirty laugh.
Hard to blame her… I would have done the same thing.
SD
I used to do this too! They’re sugar cones. I don’t buy that you’d ever really want to put your ice cream cone down. For any reason. That just made it fair game for the dog, or a pesky younger brother. Plus the pointy cones taste so much better than the flat bottomed flaky paper type cones.
“I tried to explain what I used to do to my Lady Friend.” This sentence works in a way I don’t think you intended, but I can’t help but read it the wrong way =P
Haven recently posted: Be Mindful with Borderline Personality Disorder
Posted on: Jan/25/2012@9:02 am
@Haven: Ha.. yeah, that line does read a few different ways! Maybe I’ll go back and add a well placed comma in there. And you’re right, who am I kidding, I would never put it down – I still won’t!
Posted on: Jan/25/2012@9:43 am
I figure, as long as you’re not cupping any imaginary balls, you’re doing nothing wrong…
Brandon recently posted: I Was Retweeted by a Celebrity …But At What Cost?
Posted on: Jan/25/2012@9:57 am
Ya gotta love a guy who enjoys the art of licking, whether it be ice cream, or whatever.
Deb recently posted: Tighten, Tug and Tone
Posted on: Jan/25/2012@2:55 pm
Oh come on, you’re just talking into the megaphone…and that’s not a euphemism either. Despite megaphones being tied to cheerleaders and dudes who were cheerleaders were usually beat up a lot or at a minimum ridiculed, but I digress…
WG
WilyGuy recently posted: Mr. Roarke or Khan
Posted on: Jan/25/2012@5:25 pm
For a long time I thought that was the only way to eat an ice cream cone! I always did that and never once thought it was naughty! Thanks a lot, Lady Friend.
According to Jewels recently posted: A Moment of Truth
Posted on: Jan/25/2012@7:35 pm
I worked in an ice cream store for 10 summers, so I hate ice cream.
I do enjoy a good ol’ pretending-to-eat-a-weiner every once and a while, though, if you know what I mean…
I hope you know what I mean.
Youngman Brown recently posted: My Eye: Part III (Thanks, Ladies)
Posted on: Jan/25/2012@8:08 pm
I’ve always eaten ice cream cones that way, the thing is that now that I’m older I am a bit self-concious about it. It looks naughty, but it’s the only way I can eat an ice cream cone!
euge recently posted: The woman who fought against the zumba lessons and lost the first round.
Posted on: Jan/25/2012@9:11 pm
I still eat ice cream cones that way…and I’m supposed to be a grown-up…and I’ve always been pretty sure I look sleazy eating ice cream cones…with a hint of total slob.
Sometimes I eat ice cream in private, just to avoid the shame…
Jessica recently posted: An open letter to Oprah Winfrey…
Posted on: Jan/26/2012@12:43 am
I can just imagine how that conversation must have gone and the expression your lady friend had on her face … priceless…
Susan Cooper recently posted: Away For A Bit
Posted on: Jan/26/2012@5:55 pm
Have you ever seen Wilfred on FX? There’s a scene where Wilfred eats peanut butter ice cream and its just….hilarious and filthy.
Posted on: Jan/26/2012@8:39 pm
Great! Now I’m craving Ben and Jerry’s. (not an euphemism).
Dawne recently posted: TRYING TO BE AS WISE AS YODA, I AM
Posted on: Jan/26/2012@9:28 pm
mmmm Icecream.
Really, sometimes the fun in eating icecream is seeing how suggestive you can make it.
We have icecreams where there is chocolate in the tip of the cone. You have no choice but to eat that and then suck all that lovely creaminess out
Mynx recently posted: Oi Oi Oi
Posted on: Jan/27/2012@5:39 am