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The Fountain Of Mucus
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Random Simplicity | Posted on 23-01-2012
WARNING… this post may disgust some people. It disgusts me.
I am just getting over being sick, basically for the last three or four days. Nothing too severe. No vomiting, no urgent duck-walk trips to the bathroom just barely avoiding making a mess in my pants, no severe cough that has kept me and everyone in my neighborhood awake at night. All of those symptoms can be a real pain in the ass, but I’ll say one thing about them:
I understand them.
When you have a stomach flu bug it’s not uncommon to get an upset stomach. And that results in unpleasant things coming out of both ends. Often at the least desirable times. When you have a cold a sore throat is common. It’s dry, it’s scratchy, often from coughing or maybe because of the coughing. It sucks, but I get it.
The symptom that’s been plaguing me is particularly annoying because it makes…. no…. sense. I’m talking about mucus. Specifically the kind that migrates it’s way out of your nose. I have no idea what this stuff is, where it comes from, how it’s made or what purpose it serves. All I know is that I can blow my nose about once every half hour and fill the tissue.
My nose should be sponsored by Puffs.
This dude haunts me in my dreams
If someone would come up with a way to sell mucus, I’d be an instant millionaire. I was bitching about it on Sunday and my Lady Friend happened to be sitting at her computer. So she googled mucus and found it’s mostly made up of water.
She said that could be one reason you seem to be more thirsty when you’re sick – your body is draining all it’s liquid out through your nose.
She also made a comment about how people say you should drink lots of fluid when you are sick. But why the hell would I do that? To produce more mucus? Disgusting.
I have my own idea.
Next time I get sick I am not drinking a damn thing. Maybe a beer or some coffee here and there. No water, no juice. Screw that. Let me get dehydrated – it will save me some money not having to buy all that Kleenex.
Next time I get sick I am taking a stand against mucus, and not just for myself. I’m doing it for every one of you.
Wish me luck.
SD
P.S. – don’t forget to enter the Pineville Heist contest to win $100! You could buy a lot of tissues with that cash!! CLICK HERE and check out the bottom of my post on Friday for details.
I once had a roommate who would stuff tissues up his nostrils and just walk around like that. His reasoning?
“They don’t drain this way, and it saves on tissues. I’m not using a box a day this way.”
His girlfriend came over one day and saw him like that. I never saw her again…
Brandon recently posted: Old School Gaming, and the Hidden Messages Within
Posted on: Jan/23/2012@9:03 am
I think the Twin Cities is just plagued with germs right now. I’m on my sixth week of feeling like shit.
Cheers to a mucusless future for ya!
Tershbango recently posted: Lessons from the Litter Box
Posted on: Jan/23/2012@9:05 am
The beer also helps to numb the pain!
Youngman Brown recently posted: My Eye: Part I (Thanks, Mom)
Posted on: Jan/23/2012@9:15 am
Well you did give fair warning but I read further. Just the word alone and every iteration of it is disgusting.
Those mucous cartoons are a great interpretation along with their trucker accent. But I still have to change the channel every time.
Pickleope recently posted: Husband’s of Mother Earth
Posted on: Jan/23/2012@10:26 am
Ugh. I hate the constant dripping. What I hate even more are the people that refuse to blow their nose at all and continuously snort it back in.
Out! Not in!
It’s gross either way, but srsly, getting sick happens. Everyone has been there.
I hope you feel better soon!
Haven recently posted: Validation vs. Invalidation for Borderline Personality Disorder
Posted on: Jan/23/2012@10:56 am
I can understand your logic here. Mucus and congestion are my biggest annoyances when I’m sick. The worst, when I’ve blown my nose, it’s, for all intensive purposes, empty and I still can’t breathe. F mucus!
Michael recently posted: Man It Feels Good To Be A Giant
Posted on: Jan/23/2012@11:10 am
Hope you feel better!
Posted on: Jan/23/2012@12:06 pm
That is pretty nasty but I know the feeling. I am a firm believer in drinking when you are sick. If they can use hard liquor to clean wounds before field dressings and stitching then it will kill the germs in my body. Right? Please don’t argue with this logic…it helps justify my drinking!
I suggest you give something harder than beer a go next time. You’ll disinfect and dehydrate all at once! Win/Win!
According to Jewels recently posted: Sha…Sha…Shark!
Posted on: Jan/23/2012@5:54 pm
OMG, I was thinking about writing the same post this morning as my bloodied nose coughed up its 47th load of diesel lubricant. I was sneezing and my nose itched and when I switched sides of how I was lying in the bed, my head made that eery squeaking sound as my sinus cavities passed the love to the low side of my head.
It is the worst.
WG
WilyGuy recently posted: (Chinese) New Year’s Resolutions
Posted on: Jan/23/2012@8:05 pm
Dude!
Get your freaking nose checked. A lot of the reasons why people get mucus up their nose is because of the lack of Vitamin D. Get out in the sun or put some vitamin D in your mouth!!!
Also, if the mucus persists, don’t forget to go to a doctor. Sinus infections can be dangerous things…
Jonathan Gaurano recently posted: Is Your Relationship Stunting Your Personal Growth?
Posted on: Jan/23/2012@10:49 pm
Only strange people do not get how feeling sick makes you feel like you want to climb into bed and sleep till you feel better, I hope you are on the mend
Jo-Anne recently posted: About Jo-Anne Tuesday
Posted on: Jan/23/2012@11:28 pm
Oh my word! okay so here’s the thing..and not everyone thinks about this. Dairy creates mucos. If you are a milk drinker, or yogurt or whatever has dairy in it…don’t drink it/eat it. no cheese or anything like that. and what’s the first thing we do when we get better ? we go back to it. I know it’s gross but dairy is the culprit. ever since i gave up dairy, i don’t get head colds anymore. it’s been about 6 years…i don’t know if that helps, but i sure do hope you’re feeling better.
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Posted on: Jan/24/2012@10:48 pm
Hey, look I read it again. I think I have Alzheimer’s. I read it and commented originally, but as I read it (again) I was thinking “how did I miss this post…”
Lol
WG
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Posted on: Apr/14/2012@9:34 am