Half Assed Weekend – July 30

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 30-07-2011

It was a wild week for me…  between work functions, the Journey concert on Thursday night and a couple golf outings I didn’t spend much time at home.  I think the Lady Friend was starting to get used to living alone again.  Don’t worry, I’ll make up for it by spending time on the couch this weekend doing nothing.  She’ll be sick of me again before you know it.

Since my plan this weekend is to do very little, I’m half assing my blog post with something from that stupid ass catalog I get in the mail.  For those of you who haven’t seen these, I’ve written a handful of posts featuring items from this ridiculous catalog.  It randomly shows up in the mail every month or two and it’s full of weird stuff that no one would ever buy.  Well, that can’t be entirely true..  someone must be buying this stuff or they wouldn’t keep sending out catalogs.

If you want to read some other posts about crap I found in this catalog, you can go check out a few of them here:

The Bottle Tree

Solar Powered Birdhouses

Personalized Pet Toys

This picture sucks… keep in mind I am half-assing this post so it’s just snapped on my cell phone camera.  This ad is for the “17 Piece Man Cave Party Pail Set” which basically is a bucket, four glasses and a shitload of coasters that all say Man Cave on them.

For starters guys, if you TRULY have a legitimate Man Cave it starts with a getaway spot in your house where you can watch TV.  It probably has some sort of sports theme or an item or two showing off your favorite team.  Sometimes music and movies are incorporated into the decor as well.   

True Man Caves also have some sort of a beverage distribution system.  It could be as simple as a small beer fridge, or maybe you’re one of those really lucky bastards that has a refrigerated keg built into your Man Cave.  Some even have an actual bar area.  And you may have a poker table or some seating configuration that lets you invite a few buddies over too.

What a true Man Cave does NOT have in it is a bunch of coasters and other shit that says MAN CAVE on it.  Sorry, that’s just lame.  And if you’re stuck watching the game in a spare bedroom that happens to have a 19″ TV sitting on a dresser, adding a bucket and some glasses does NOT make that room a Man Cave.  I don’t care what the hell is written on them.

In short guys… don’t do this.  You are either cheapening your existing Man Cave or you are fooling yourself.  And you’ll ultimately look like an idiot if you do invite a buddy over to watch a game. 

Just a little Simpleton advice to start off your weekend.

On a different note… as of yesterday my e-book Grow Your Blog: Proven Ways To Add Followers Every Single Day was the #5 top selling Blogging book on Amazon.  Woohoo!  Of course there are not a ton of blogging books on the market – it’s barely in the top 10,000 of ALL books on Amazon… but hey, I’ll take it.

Have you picked up your copy yet?


I Am Sooo Sick Of These Celebrities…

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 28-07-2011

NOTE:  Blogger decided not to put up the post I had scheduled yesterday.  Who knows why, it was clearly scheduled to go up…  but didn’t.  Damn Blogger.  Just another reason for my to move to WordPress I guess.  I was away from the computer all day and night so I couldn’t do anything about it – in fact I didn’t even know about it until this morning.  So, here it is now.   Pretend it’s still Wednesday. 

It’s Wednesday and around here that doesn’t just mean hump day.  Well, it doesn’t really mean hump day at all around here.  I rarely get laid on Wednesdays……

But that’s a little off topic.  Wednesdays are also the day of the week I write an article for Sprocket Ink.  That’s the snarky little news website featuring some of the best writers around – most of them are bloggers just like you and me.

This week my Sprocket Ink article is a good one… it’s about all the celebrities that I am completely sick of hearing about.  At least I should be, according to recent survey results released by AskMen.com.  After seeing the results, I would have to agree with the choices of my fellow dudes made.  I am VERY sick of the celebrities listed.

So please go check out the list and my own smart ass comments about all those celebrities that I wish would just GO AWAY!!  And don’t forget to comment to let me know your thoughts on the list. 

That’s it for today…  I am out at a company outing today – and by the time you read this I’ll probably already have a slight buzz or a slight sunburn.  Hopefully a little of both.

Thanks Simpletons!


I’m In The Wind This Week (Not A Fart Joke)

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 26-07-2011

I may not get a chance to post much this week… tomorrow is Wednesday, so that will be a Sprocket Ink day for me.  I’ll probably put up a post that reminds you to go check that out – but other than that I may not be around too much.

It’s not that I am extremely busy at work..  quite the opposite actually.  But I am busy doing things OTHER than work.  For instance, on Monday I worked a half day then went out to play in a golf tournament.  Between that and the post-tournament dinner I didn’t get home until late.

Today is a normal work day, but we’re doing a happy hour after work for a guy who left our company last week – so I won’t get home too early tonight.

Wednesday we have an all-company outing, so I’ll be out of the office all day.  When we have these they often end in a couple cocktails afterwards.  So… another night when I doubt I’ll be home too early.

After this wild week my smart-ass coworkers may do this to my office

Then Thursday is a normal work day – but I am going to a concert that night.  Before I tell you who I am going to see, don’t judge me.  These tickets were FREE.  I’m going to see Journey, Foreigner and Night Ranger.  I’ll be living it up like it’s 1985.  Remember… don’t judge, the tickets are free and I am sure I’ll talk a couple free beers out of my friends too.

Then Friday after this wild week I am taking the day off.  To sleep.

Bottom line, other than my Sprocket Ink post, which I may have to try to write at work, I won’t have much for you Simpletons this week.  Sorry!

Oh, and as I am writing this, I have no idea what to write about at Sprocket Ink tomorrow… any suggestions?


Half Assed Weekend Photo Post

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 24-07-2011

First, let me introduce some of my newer followers to the HALF-ASSED WEEKEND POST concept.  If you’re like me, you check you blog stats on occasion…  ok, by “on occasion” I mean multiple times per day.  And one thing you probably notice is that on the weekends you get less traffic and less comments.  I’ve found that from Friday afternoon through Sunday night I only get about half the pageviews and comments on my posts as I do during the week.

So I came up with the HALF-ASSED WEEKEND POST.  This basically gives you an excuse to put only half the effort into your weekend posts – because you know only half the people will read them.

And in doing so, I encourage you to grab the Half Assed Weekend button.  You can get the code along the right side of my page.  Or just right click the image and save it to your computer.  Take it and use it during your next weekend post!

The button was graciously designed by one of my most faithful Simpletons, Amber LaShell.  She does excellent design work if you need any help tweaking or re-doing your blog, a banner ad, button or whatever.  And you’ll notice when you click the link to her blog that she has a Half-Assed Weekend Post up too.

A week ago the Lady Friend and I took a trip along the North Shore of Lake Superior.  It’s one of the most beautiful areas of Minnesota and we try to get up there at least once each year.  So my half-assing this week is basically just a few pictures taken with my crappy camera phone.  The Lady Friend took better ones with her nice digital camera but she’s not around right now and I’m too lazy to get those from her computer.   It’s easier to just plug my phone and copy these over.  Enjoy!

This is on a bluff in Gooseberry Falls State Park.  No, I didn’t see any Gooseberries, whatever the hell they are.  But the Lady Friend did give me a goose.  Woohoo!

And these are the actual Gooseberry Falls.  You can climb all over them as you can tell by the people on the top.  I was afraid to get too close – didn’t want to give the Lady Friend any temptations of pushing me in.

This is just upstream from the falls in the previous picture.  The river runs down the hillside, eventually feeding into Lake Superior so there are lots of falls and river rapids along the way.  I kept looking for a place to launch my kayak.  That’s a joke.

This is down on the shore of the lake, looking up at Split Rock Lighthouse.  The lighthouse is part of a State Park and while we were up there the State of Minnesota was in a “government shutdown” which meant all state parks were closed.  You could sneak in and walk around, but not go in any buildings.  So this was as close as we could get to the actual lighthouse.  I was hoping to sneak inside it and hang a disco ball…  it would give the ships a little fun at night.  

And this last one was on our way back home, in Duluth, Minnesota.  I’m at the end of a long point that sticks out into Lake Superior called Park Point.  I thought it was cool because it has sand beaches and waves rolling in, making it look like an ocean beach.  And there were some people swimming in it too – although I think the water is a bit chilly.  I stayed on land… didn’t want to have any “shrinkage” issues.

You know, seeing the lighthouse picture reminds me of something that happened to me that week.  It may be a story worthy of a post.  So look for a haunted lighthouse post later this week!

That’s about all I got.  To be sure you’re getting my posts and other bullshit on a regular basis make sure you’re following me on all the social media platforms:

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Every one of these can help your blog gain followers, so you should be using them!

Happy Sunday!


Random Thursday Thoughts.. On A Friday

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 22-07-2011

I know it’s a Friday, but I had some Random Thursday Thoughts last night and decided to throw them into a post.  I haven’t done a Random Thursday Thought post in a few months, mainly because I rarely post on Thursdays.  So there have been random thoughts that spilled out of my head, never making it to a blog post, and now lost forever. 

Absolutely tragic.

I’ll try to not let that happen again.  Since I don’t generally post on Thursdays I may have to abandon the Thursday Thoughts alliteration and do it on a different day – just to keep the random thoughts from dying on the vine, so to speak.  For you newer Simpletons, my Random Thursday Thoughts are thoughts I have that are not quite long enough to justify a full post.  So without further BS, here are my random thoughts this week:

My home coffee pot pisses me off.  You know when you’re pouring the water from the glass pot (carafe?) into the maker to start the brewing process?  About half the time some of the water runs down the underside of the pot as I am tipping it, spilling onto the counter.  This has happened with MANY pots that I have used over the years so I know it’s not just this one.  And it only happens with the water.  The hot coffee thankfully doesn’t spill like that.  Still, it makes a small mess….  and it pisses me off.

I’ve heard taking the lid off the pot helps, but why should I have to do this?  Plus it seems to do it or not do it completely randomly from day to day.  Please tell me other people have experienced this.


Once per week or so before we fall asleep, the Lady Friend and I find ourselves laying on our backs, next to each other in bed with the lights on, for about 10 minutes in complete silence.  What are we doing?  I have my HTC EVO Android phone and she has her iPod Touch, and we’re both playing some stupid game app.  Not together or anything like that, we’re playing completely independent of each other, usually different games.

I hadn’t thought much about this until the other day, and now I am thinking it may be weird.  NO, we’re not playing games in place of getting frisky or anything like that so don’t go trying to get all Dr. Ruth on me.  For all you youngsters, Dr. Ruth is a little old lady / TV sex therapist.  Is she even still alive?


Every morning coming to work I park in the same ramp, on the same floor, in roughly the same place.  Then I take an elevator down three floors to the walkway into my building.  Technically I don’t HAVE to take the elevator, I could take the stairs.  But I choose to take the elevator.  NOT because I am lazy, but because the acoustics in these particular elevators is amazing for whistling.

Seriously.  I actually look forward to these 20 seconds at the start of my work day.  I usually have a stupid song stuck in my head anyway, and whisting the song in these elevators is just what I need to get it un-stuck.  I hate it when there is someone else in the elevator and I’m forced to ride in silence.

No, this wasn’t posted in my elevator, just a random pic I found on the net.

Something about the way the sound bounces around in those little metal boxes would make it a perfect place to record a whistling CD.  Maybe I should do just that…  20 seconds at a time, twice a day, five days per week.  In about four months I could have 45 minutes of beautiful whistling music.

Have a good weekend kids.  Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…  but if you do, be sure to take pictures. 


Can We Please Stop Supporting Chris Brown’s Career?

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 20-07-2011

I loved all your comments on my post yesterday about my favorite movies from 1986.  If you haven’t seen it, click here to read up on it and share your thoughts.  Some of you said I should have included Platoon on my top six list and you are probably right.  I LOVE that movie and it deserved to be in the top six.  I am not sure what would have gotten bumped out… possibly Hoosiers but that would be a tough decision for me.  

Others thought Aliens should have made my list.  I have to argue there.  Alien (the original) was a better movie than Aliens.  Don’t confuse the two.  Aliens was the sequel.  Sure, it’s a good movie but not better than those I listed… sorry, it’s just not.  Don’t agree?  Go back and post a comment! 

That being said….  it’s time to move on to today’s post.

I am not a Chris Brown fan.  To be honest, his music isn’t really my thing.  Normally I can appreciate music styles that are not in my wheelhouse and respect the artists making that music.  Except in the case of an asshole like Chris Brown.  We all know what he did to Rihanna.  For this terrible beating he was sentenced to just community service and probation.  No jail time at all.  In my mind the judicial system failed in that instance, but it is what it is.

The real travesty is that he continues to have a successful career.

Apparently he is starring in a movie that is being filmed right now.  In my weekly Sprocket Ink post I got on my soapbox about the whole Chris Brown thing.  Click here to give it a read will ya?  And be sure to comment over there.  I don’t want to lose my gig writing for them!

Also… I am on Google+ so if you are too, please add me and I’ll do the same.  I don’t know how to post a link to my page (maybe someone can tell me how?) but if you search for Simple Dude I am sure you’ll find me. 

If you are not on and would like to be, email simpledude @ gmail.com and I’ll invite you.

Peace out Simpletons. 


1986: A Pretty Good Year For Movies

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 19-07-2011

I’m kind of a movie buff.  That’s a lame way of saying I watch a shit load of movies.  Good movies, bad movies, whatever.  I’ve seen most of the somewhat popular movies released in the last 30 years.  But I’ve never been one of those guys who can quote movies at will, I guess I just don’t retain them that way.

But for some reason I do remember certain 80′s movies a lot better than others.  It could be because I was a teenager all through the 2nd half of the 80′s so those movies hold a special spot for me.  Or more likely its because I first saw those movies before I started killing tons of brain cells with various chemical mood enhancers.  Yeah, that makes more sense.

There’s been a lot of talk lately about movies from 1986 and how it’s the 25th anniversary for them this year.  Those movies were some of my personal favorites for a variety of reasons.  For starters the movies that year kicked ass!!  I was 13 years old in the summer of ’86 and movies, music and chicks were all making a big impression on me – as they do with most 13 year old simple dudes I suppose.

So here, in order, are my top six favorite movies from 1986..  I tried to come up with just five but couldn’t leave Hoosiers off!

6.  Hoosiers - One of the greatest sports movies of all time.  This is a classic and a must see whether you like basketball or not.  Plus Gene Hackman is the shit.

5.  Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – This movie would be higher on my list in most years, but 1986 was not “most” years.

4. Top Gun – This movie is both a dude flick and a chick flick.  But because it IS part chick flick I can’t keep my Dude card and put it any higher than #4 on my list.

3.  The Color Of Money – I know, TWO Tom Cruise movies on this list.  But this was back when he was cool.  Plus Paul Newman is even more “the shit” than Gene Hackman.  And I have always been a pool player so this movie hits home!

2. Back To School – One of my favorite 80′s movies.  Rodney Dangerfield was a comic genius both on stage and on screen.  If you haven’t seen it, I wrote about a dream I had featuring Rodney a few weeks back.  This isn’t the trailer, but it is a funny clip featuring Sam Kinison.

1.  Stand By Me – This is probably in my top 10 favorite movies of all time.  Well written (based on a book by Stephen King) and well directed (Rob Reiner – the king of 80s movies) and extremely well acted.  Oh and the music ain’t bad either!

And how about these movies from ’86 that just missed my list:  Platoon, Aliens, Heartbreak Ridge, Short Circuit, Pretty In Pink, Crocodile Dundee, Three Amigos, Ruthless People, Karate Kid 2.  Well, maybe not Karate Kid 2 so much.  The Crane was only good for one movie. 

Bonus points to anyone who watches all six of those trailers.

Which is your favorite?