Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 25-02-2011
This post may cost me some followers.. but frankly, if you’re offended by this you shouldn’t be following me anyway!
I was surfing around the interwebs the other day and saw an article talking about, wait for it… sex. Being the naturally curious Simple Dude that I am I had to click on it. After all it’s something guys think about a lot. I know women do too, but I am not a woman (any more… just kidding… maybe…) so I have no frame of reference there. Sorry ladies.
It turns out a big part of the article covered reasons why your guy may not be as interested in sex as he used to be. It covered biological reasons: overuse of drugs, alcohol or low levels of testosterone, those kinds of things. Then it also covered the emotional possibilities. Stress, depression, etc. It even states that the crappy economy could result in some guys not being into doing the dirty deed.
And of course there was the bad news… there is the possibility he might be getting sweaty with someone else and just isn’t into your freaky self anymore.
These are all normal things you’d expect to be causing his disinterest. Except for the cheating bastard scenario, the others could be dealt with fairly easily. But they closed the article with a last possible reason your guy hasn’t been up to doing the boner boogie lately. Internet porn.
According to said article, guys who have access to internet porn are 50% – 500% more likely to masturbate. For starters, who doesn’t have access? Unless you’re a shack dwelling Hill Jack or an Aborigine I think we pretty much all have at least some access to the dirty stuff. Right?
And where do they get those percentages? 50% – 500% means if he whacked off 3 times a week before having access to it, he would do it as often as 15 times per week now that he can watch the nasty. Who the hell has that kind of time???
Numbers aside.. simply put, if your dude is slapping his willy around every day, it’s less likely he’s going to want to slap your behind around every night.
I am old enough to remember the pre-internet days (shut up Charles) and have to admit these days it’s much easier to yankie my wankie. The days of people actually owning smutty DVDs are probably numbered. In fact, it boggles my mind how that industry even survives when so much of that crap is easily found on the net for FREE. Who is actually paying for it anymore?
Anyway, the moral of the story is if you want a better sex life, then consider disconnecting your guy’s internet. And take away his phone. And iPad or similar device. And don’t let him use a computer at work or get emails from his buddies. Basically send him back to 1990, but with less mullet.
Incidentally, this post is dedicated to Thundercat, as any posts about porn should be.
And if you’re still feeling frisky.. both Jewels and Cinderita have their own porn posts going on today!
Oh, and check back this weekend for highlights of all the best comments of the week – you guys are so crazy!