The Simple DudeA Simple Dude in a Complex World

I always use automatic doors. That way I can pretend that I'm Jean Grey and opening the door with my telekinetic mutant powers.

Uh oh… we may have to resort to fisticuffs. I always expect a thank you when I hold the door for someone, but I'll always deliver one as well if someone hold it for me. In fact, if someone doesn't thank me, I'll say "you're welcome" out loud to be an ass

Omg, I won something?! I never win stuff! I'd like to thank the academy, Hot Pockets, and Candice Bergen.

I'm socially agnostic. I figure I have mastered the mechanics of door opening at a very young age and if you haven't, maybe you shouldn't be in motion around others at all.

Really, some people need to be tested before being let out of doors and possibly required to promise never to pro-create.

I always open the door too. But you know what really pisses me off, you stand there for an extra 20 seconds and then they use the other door! Like seriously i stood there for you, you could at least have enough courtesy to use the door i opened for you!

Whether or not someone decides to say thank you or uses the other door doesn't really matter when we make a gift of consideration for our fellow human beings. Also a thought- the people behind them see the whole thing- you being considerate, and either them being appreciative or an ingrate. And no matter what their reaction you come out looking great in other people's eyes….and you never know who could be your next boss, or next date…

I always hold the door open, even if it turns out they were that awkward 15 feet behind instead of right behind. Guys tend to be the most uncomfortable looking when I do that.

I don't mind holding the door for people, but I do not want some dude to hold the door open for me with that awkward pause where they miscalculated. I'm not going to hurry up just because you're holding the door open for me. I'm pretty sure I can open the door myself. Besides, I find it a bit degrading when another dude opens the door for me. What am I his b….

I look behind me about 95% of the time, but I still think that if the other person has to run/skitter/haul ass to get to your "kindly held open door", then it isn't doing anyone any favours.

Unless they offer a handjob when you get there. Or something.

Seriously?… Reeeally??… Seriously?

Just sayin'.

Sometime its best to just quickly slam the door shut, hold it closed and stick your mouth to the glass as you blow your cheeks wide open. Sometimes that is just the best thing to do…

ツ my cyber house rules

You just can't risk letting the door slam in someone's face—man, woman, young or old; the awkwardness of miscalculation is pretty rare.

No one has mentioned the social misfit who walks behind the one for whom you held the door and thinks you are holding it for him (emphasis male) too. It's OK to let the door slam in his face.

I'm totally that guy who doesn't even pay attention to if anyone's behind me. I go to class in a building that is super busy, and I'll hold the door open just long enough that it looks like I kind of tried not to be an asshole.

I guess that still makes me an asshole.

You beat me to the punch on the "get hit by a bus, too" thing. Funny you bring that up, there's a commercial for some smart phone that shows someone downloading info super fast, and because of the time she saved, she became a professional dancer instead of a spectator at the ballet. The implication, of course, being that if you save time, good things happen.

But as you said, what if those ten seconds saved meant she would've stepped in front of a speeding bus instead of crossing safely through the intersection?

No one thinks of THAT, now, do they?

I mean, except you, of course.

I'm the girl who was always holding doors open. What can i say i was raised by men. My friends are currently trying to break me of the habit. But i've been very careful since i slammed the door in my grandfathers face. Of course that wasn't really an accident, he's a big guy who was being a jerk that day. When people hold doors for me i'm the asshole who takes their sweet time getting to the door. What can i say i follow the golden rule "You don't slam the door in my face i wont slam it in yours."

If I'm at the door and there's someone behind me, I try to slam it closed as fast as I can, no matter what side of it I end up on, so that no one else can profit from my hard work.

I am the door holder opener. Yup, that's me. But dude! I think you have waaaaay too much time on your hands. That post sounded like my mind the 1st 2 hours of the day when I'm trying to wake up!

If someone is close behind it is always the polite thing to hold the door open for them. …Plus smart guys know that doing so is an easy way to get a closer look at a hot chick and her big boobies ; )

http://rantersbox.blogspot.com/

I'm a door holder…just always do it…and I love a nice thank you. It's not necessary but it's nice to hear. I always feel bad if somebody misjudges and gets stuck holding the door for me when I'm just a smidge too far away and always do a quick jog and smile nicely when I thank them. I have seen people just flat out make eye contact and walk away…guess that person was just too far away. Hmm…oh well. Love the post. Had never really give this much thought.

The worst is when you only intended to hold the door for one person, but low and behold there is a steady stream of frackers coming through. Most of these instances involve me eventually letting the door slam into some poor shmuck, talk about an awkward moment. I'm a nice guy, but come on! There are limits.

I'm Canadian. WE thank everyone for everything. Even if they didn't hold the door for us. lol

I have to be honest, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I walk around with blinders on and let it slam, or just nod when I come up on that dude holding the door, and gvie a nod. Other times, like when I'm with my wife and kids, I try to be polite. I'll say thanks. But I'm also that guy that will stand there and hold the door for a ton of people… Kind of like ZP above me, then I say fuck it and hand it off to the next shmuck coming through. On the other hand, that awkward pause you talk of is a very short pause here in Jersey!

http://zendiablo.blogspot.com/

I've never really deeply pondered this door opening conundrum before. I guess I am a door holder, but most doors to buildings are either permanently open or automatic these days. I suppose, in the US where it can be f*****g freezing in winter, you don't have permanently open doors to office buildings…but in Oz we do!

lol! My Hubby and I had a conversation about this recently. We both usually hold doors for others immediately behind us; my rule of thumb is if the person behind me is more than 10 feet away, I don't bother holding the door open.

When others hold the door for us, we usually respond with a 'thank you' or a nod with eye contact. Don't always get it when we hold the door for others, but as you said Dude – it's not the end of the world!

it's a good thing i'm at home because when I read the part about someone saying "oh" and then trying to hurry up to get to you, I actually laughed out loud. that has happened to me so many times. btw. those are some complex thoughts for a such a simple dude.

amberlashell.com

i get stuck holding the door all the time…oh wait that's right im a doorman…

wait fuck that…that was just a nightmare.

but i do hold the door all the time. and normally i am the guy that gets separated from my group holding the door.

but i also ask for tips and sometimes even get some…i also give directions to people, but only when i get stuck holding the door out of town.

and then i send then to go knows where, cuz i really have no idea of where they really want to go.

yeah, im a fucker like that…

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I often opt for the no look hold. I reach my arm out behind, not looking (talented, I know) and just hope that someone will grab the door in the meantime. If they aren't there, then they are out of luck.
Of course, the Deutschers here don't know the meaning of polite. If I do happen to hold the door open for someone, rather than thank me, they look at me like I out of my effing mind. They're reeeaaallly a nice folk

i always hold the door for the person behind me and i always say thank you to anyone holding a door for me

I have 3 children and a disabled mom that I constantly have in tow, and I'm always carrying a baby, holding the hands of 2 small girls with the hand under the baby's bottom and walking with my other arm looped through my mom's arm because she's stubborn and refuses to walk with a cane. So, I ALWAYS thank folks who open the door for me, even if there are 12 doors that we must go through and they hold it for me each time. I am eternally grateful for people who hold doors for me, as I have no hands to get it myself. I would have to leave my mom precariously balanced or my girls just standing there, ready to run off at the first distraction (Look! Butterflies!) otherwise. And usually, when people see me coming, they will wait that extra 20 seconds to hold the door for me, because I look really pitiful, lol. I would kiss someone then if I could free a hand up to hold the back of their head. If someone doesn't hold the door, I grumble loudly about how rude folks can be and tell my kids in an exaggerated polite voice that that's a perfect example of how I don't want them to grow up. Conversely, I always hold the door for people, unless I am in the situation described above and physically have no appendage free to do so.

http://mommyiscrunchy.blogspot.com

Holding the door for people is just polite and I always do it if I ntoice someone behind me. I have to admit though, when I'm much further back from someone and they stand there waiting for me to get there I'm less than pleased. I don't want to rush and potentially slip on an icy surface (so much snow here). I just want to take my leisurely time getting to wherever I'm getting. If I'm right there sure, if not, feel free to go on it, I can get my own door.

I always seem to be the person thats suck holding the door open for everyone, 2 mins later wondering if it was worth it.

I do think a little thanks goes along way though!

I always open the door for others. Then I ask myself, "When will it be my turn to pass through the door? It has been 5 minutes! And not even one said 'Thanks'."

The worst experience of door opening for me was when I saw a mother loaded up with bags and kids. The guy in front of her glanced back towards her, only about 5 feet ahead. Saw that she was struggling opened the door and then let it close after him!

I was about 20 feet behind and when i reached the door another guy had already opened the door for the mother.

I called out to the dick across the road, but he didn't respond.

The mother thanked us both.

I always hold doors open, its just common courtesy.

So many scenarios just for a door. I think I'll stick to revolving and automatic doors from now on to avoid this.

I'm the jackass that always ends up holding the door as I come OUT and someone else is coming IN and then I end up making it totally awkward for BOTH of us. You know, when you can't skootch around to hold the door from the outside, so you try to stretch your arm across and hold it open that way, but you're really just blocking the doorway now. Social awkwardness for the lose.

I held a door one time for a guy and he insisted on taking the door from me, because, and I quote, he's 'the guy'

I usually hold the door. Here's my strategy… I open the door and go through and as I'm holding it, I look back. If there's someone there then I look like an exemplary human being. If there isn't then I shut that bitch and go along with my day.

Sometimes though, I forget and look like an asshole and apologize profusely to the person who assures me it's okay but who I'm certain thinks I'm an ill mannered jerkoff.

Oh and if the person is 20 feet away it's even more fun because you get to see them run. If you're lucky, they might make it entertaining by tripping or whistling or doing something awesome. God that was a long comment. Okay I'll stop now.

I'm all about the manners around here. Girls can be chivalrous too.

I had a brutal surgery a couple years ago and was in a wheelchair for quite a while and then on crutches for several months after that.

I learned that there are TWO types of people in the world:

The ones who jump to action to hold doors and offer help…

And the ones who look RIGHT AT YOU and still let the door shut on your wheelchair/crutches.

I'm with Cinderita, I'm Canadian. We thank everyone. We also hold the door for everyone. Hold elevator doors, even if the person ends up not getting on the elevator. That means we held up everyone in the elevator for nothing, and the best part is no one gets mad. (except the texan who's up here for a contract)

I never even put thought into in before, because it is just something you do.

Conundrums like these are why God made revolving doors.

It's especially fun to see people's faces when you try to fit in the same section of revolving door they are using.

When I discover that 20 foot follower, I don't wait. I give the door a little flip further open and keep on walking. It's my way of saying "hey, I'd hold the door for you, but you're slow." No thanks necessary, 20 footer.

I've heard someone behind me and think "I'm opening the door for them!" Then when I get there and have the door opened I see that they are about 15 ft behind me, so I have to stand there and wait like an idiot.

I hate when I try to close the elevator door quickly but the close button essentially does nothing.

The only thing worse than that is if they catch the door and you still have your finger on the close button. Then it's all like "LUCY YOU HAVE SOME 'SPLAINING TO DO."

So true! I always try to hold the door and feel like a fool when they end up being 20 feet behind me.
Or the awkward situation that takes place when two people reach a door at the same time trying to go in opposite directions.

i always find it super awkward in the 2 door operation – someone holds the first door for me (and I always say thank you no matter what, because it's a kind gesture) … then when they hold the second door I go… 'uhh… uhhh' in my head, and mutter out a simple 'and again' out loud. I feel retarded saying 'and again' (as if to thank them again)… but I think I'd feel more retarded saying 'Thank you' twice in 20 seconds.

Haha, I completely agree SD. Like others have mentioned before me, it's even more awkward when you have a double door setup, and there are two lanes of traffic instead. So you end up stretching what little arm span you have to make sure both doors are open for both traffic lanes. I personally love a group of 5 or more people each saying "Thank you" as they pass.

LS

My work has the simple solution to the 20ft behind person…. handicapped doors. Push the button and the door stays open for about 30 sec. It is beautiful, no awkward "thanks" "hello" nothing just keep on walking.

I especially hate this when the door is at the top of a flight of stairs (like it is at my school). I'm already huffing and puffing my way up the damn stairs, and then someone is standing there holding to door for me so I have to try to get up there even faster. Just let the fucking door close! Opening the door myself would be a lot less effort than trying to run up these stairs! Especially if I trip, fall, and break something. Stupid, nice people.

It is super amusing that you wrote about this. I think any conscious person thinks about it as it's happening, but doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about it afterward, so good job there dude. I'm a pretty old-school polite kind of gal, so I hold the door always, and I'm not usually running late for anything, so I don't mind waiting. However, if somebody is 20 feet behind me and it's freezing cold, I don't want to stand out in the cold AND I don't want to make them hurry, so I let the door close, step inside, and surprise 'em by opening the door again for them once they're closer.

I'd rather not get a thank-you or acknowledgement at all than have somebody not make eye contact. That's one thing I like about door-holders, I'll make eye contact with ya and say the hottest Thank You you ever heard just to reward all your effort. Politeness and niceties are sexy.

Doors are over-rated maybe we should just do away with them altogether… ?

I was just in this situation at work the other day. A guy was holding the door for me but I was at least 10 steps away still. I think I rolled my eyes at him b/c he made me speed up. Bitch. But normally, I would always say thank you. Although, I have also done just the head nod and think that's perfectly acceptable.

http://completedebbiness.blogspot.com/

I think it is always nice to thank someone for holding open the door. It is just the courteous thing to do. However, this dilemma has made me think about another one that has been bothering me of late. What do you do when someone drops something? If they don't notice it, the obvious answer is to pick it up and give it to them. However, the dilemma ensues when they do notice it, and they have begun to bend over to get it. Now, if this is a young person… no problemo. However, it is an older person, do you let them just pick it up themselves or do you try and stop them mid-bend and retrieve it for them? Either way, it feels wrong. They have already started the bending process. You might be making them feel inadequate or "less than capable" by suggesting that they can't pick something up off the floor. *sigh* Where is the line between helpful and hurtful? Thus far, I just watch them carefully and if they are able to get "whatever" easily enough, I let them. If they struggle and can't reach the floor, then I step in. I just always have this mental image of the two of us bumping heads reaching for the item and knocking each other out. The Two Stooges in action. Or something like that.

On a different note, I dedicated a little something to you on my Thursday post.

If you can get your way to the bottom of this long list of comments (you rock SD) you will find that I am always holding doors for people. If they are farther back but elderly, I still hold it. And I always say thank you to someone who holds a door for me. Guess that's just my good little catholic girl turned biker chick turned happy and fun 50 year old me. I raised my son the same way. Even if he never talks to me again, I know he's got good manners underneath all that gruffness.

I always hold the door for people, and it never fails to shock the fool outta me when people look stunned by the gesture. Likewise, I always thank someone if they hold a door for me.

I gave you an award over on my blog.

Holy shit!! 52 comments! Aint no way I'm leaving one, oh wait a minute….
This is a great post we all can relate and find the humor in the awkwardness. Kinda like walking past people at work 15 times a day. Do you really have to say Hi every time. The glances to the side are getting old. Just walk past for pete's sake. By the way who the hell is Pete and why is his "sake' so damn important.

Forget that. If I hold a door for someone, they'd better thank me. I could have just let the door slam in his face, but I didn't. And if there are a series of doors and they don't thank me for holding the first door, I'm damn well gonna let the next one slam.

a bitch called mom

haha! i concur with Mrs. Hyde's comment 100%.

if that person is right behind me, i will hold the door for them. but if that person is still away that it takes more than 3 seconds for them to reach the door, i wont wait. the only exception is only if he/she is a grandma or grandpa.
i have no time. i know i've been so late. i always come late. bad time management xD

ahhh, social niceties – they say manners are what greases the wheels of civilisation… Or was it alcohol?

I'm Canadian, we kill the impolite ones at birth to thin the herd

I'd apoligize for being rude lately but i've found if you walk away really fast nobody says anything. but i guess im just the average everyday ass hole. If your old or carrying a bunch of crap yeah i will take time out of my day to hold the door for you.
http://www.catiesjourney.blogspot.com/

You are so correct, it is amazing no matter the situation how rude people can be. I have a child in a wheel chair and whenever I come across a door that is not automatic it is amazing to me how many people seeing me struggling to open the door yet never help. So those of you that are the rude ones who don't think enough to thank someone for their help, shame on you. For those of you that have common courtesy Thank you!

I like opening doors for older men that are classically trained in practicing courtesy toward women. They typically get physically put off balance when a woman opens the door and then holds it for them.