24
New Advice Negates Old Advice
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 24-01-2011
Ever notice how certain themes go around the Blog-o-verse? Someone comes up with an interesting topic, and then you see a bunch of bloggers giving their take on it? Recently people were writing a lot about their New Years plans and resolutions. My take was about New Years Suggestions because I didn’t really want to be held to them.
One popular theme bouncing around lately is the “What Would You Tell Your Younger Self” post. Many people have written about advice they’d give to the 15, 16 or 17 year old versions of themselves. It’s interesting, but not something I would have written about.
Then I saw a blogger who was only about 19 or 20 years old, giving advice to his 16 year old self. This seemed ridiculous to me. What advice is he going to give? Pimple fighting tips? I doubt he’d tell himself to study harder or not to be afraid to ask that cute girl on a date. Those are things you really haven’t grasped yet at 19. And what he DOES tell his 16 year old self he’d probably want to revise in another 4 years anyway.
This brought me to a conclusion. These things are relative to who you are right now, at the age you are right now. I hear people stressing about turning 30 and at this point in my life that seems like such a trivial concern. Of course it won’t be too long before I’ll be looking at turning 40 and bitching.. and I’m sure people who are 50 will be telling me to shut my damn mouth.
So maybe a better discussion is: What would my current self have to say about the lousy advice my 20 year old self would give to my 16 year old self. Confused? Really?? Then pay attention!
If Doc Brown and Marty McFly had let me hop in their DeLorean to take a spin back in time, one of the things my 20 year old self would have said is:
“Dude, you’re only a few months away from losing your virginity. Way to go bud!”
And to that current day Simple Dude would add:
“Yes, it’s going to happen soon. Until then, maybe chill out on the ‘alone time‘ in the bathroom huh? Everyone does it, but you don’t have to do it quite so often.”
20 year old me would offer this:
“There is a girl you’re going to start dating your senior year. You’ll date her for more than two years before she breaks your heart. Try to be a better boyfriend – maybe she will stick around.”
Current Simple Dude says:
“Hell no. 20 year old me needs to get his prescription checked. Let that chick go. You’re going to have a lot of fun dating in your 20′s, so don’t be a damn fool and marry a high school girlfriend!”
The 20 year old me would touch on school a bit:
“I know school sucks, and you worry about getting busted for skipping class once in awhile. Don’t worry, you’ve got it all figured out – those shit heads will never catch ya. High School is a breeze.”
And 2011 me would have to add:
“He’s right about that. But once you GET to College? Try paying more attention. It’s ok to booze a bit, or hit the wacky tobacky now and then but it wouldn’t hurt to learn something… and shit, maybe put some thought into a career path instead of just winging it. You could save us all a hell of a lot of indecision over the next decade – not to mention making payday a little happier.
Oh, and I know this thing called the internet hasn’t surfaced yet, but if someone asks you about investing in an online casino or something called a website that happens to be named after a South American river and sells books and CDs – at least hear them out.”
Who knows.. in five years this advice may change too. The whole concept of giving advice to your younger self is flawed for this reason. Not to mention any mistakes you think you’d avoid by steering yourself a certain way would just bring on more mistakes.
It’s an annoyingly overused phrase, but in looking back at decisions you’ve made… “it is what it is” hits the nail on the head.
Over the weekend my post about the 6 pack drink holster brewed up some great comments, with Oilfield Trash coming out on top with this:
“Holy hell, the trailer parks now have a clothing catalog.”
And an honorable mention to Karen at A Blog Day Afternoon for pointing out that the donkey (ass) in my Half-Assed Weekend button is actually a complete ass… you know, in the photo. At least I think she was talking about the donkey. Maybe she was calling me a complete ass? Hmmm…
What do you have for me today?
SD
Wow. What a doofus. I have several things I'd tell myself. Like, "I wouldn't move in with that Suzi chick. Serious whack job."
In other news, I've give you a couple awards.
)
http://omylee.blogspot.com/2011/01/lol-award.html
http://omylee.blogspot.com/2011/01/life-is-good.html
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@5:26 pm
I would probably try to punk my younger self, try to advise him to do stupid, humiliating things…cause thats how I roll…
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@5:32 pm
What do I have for you today?
Well, nothing. Seeing it is almost 1pm and I am still in my jammies.
Yeah, I got nothing.
Except for the fact that my cat just threw up on the floor and now I have to clean that shit up.
I guess I would say, if I could go back in time and talk to my younger self I would tell myself to invest in Bounty because I will be using lots of paper towels in the future because of THIS FUCKING CAT!!
Carry on.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@5:47 pm
It's one of those "If I knew then what I know" posts… squared. I don't think I've ever seen a future self talk to a past future self about giving advice to a past self. This brings a whole new set of paradoxes to the time traveler’s conundrum.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@5:49 pm
Great post Dude.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@5:50 pm
I would defiantly tell my younger self to punch the hell out of Danny Zeo…some jerk in high school that pulled down my pants in front of the whole school! I better not catch that jackass on the street!
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@5:54 pm
Love this!
http://www.rebeccabany.com
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@5:55 pm
"Toilet bowl coffee mugs. They're gonna happen. You've been warned."
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@6:00 pm
Current me to 20 something me:
-Buy Microsoft stock at IPO
-Forgo buying that Toyota Celica
-Beware of horse faced chicks who pretend to
be your friend
-Consider not drinking so much that one night
in Vegas
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@6:00 pm
I never bother trying to tell younger me anything because I never listen.
I do though imagine 80 year old me helping me make decisions.
She basically tells me to eat, drink, and do whatever I want. I really like her.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@6:12 pm
The stuff I'd tell myself. Scratch that, the stuff I'd yell at myself!!!
ツ my cyber house rules
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@6:14 pm
I think I would just give myself the following advice:
"for pete sake's girl, shave your legs more… apparently, people get ticked off if you have hairy legs and then blog it… no no no, blogging is not a new sexual position, no seriously, it's not… good grief girl just do your bloody homework and shave your damn legs!"
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@6:22 pm
lol at tracy! blogging is a peculiar word any time before the past few years.
i seem to have the inability to advise myself because i'm such a bad listener.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@6:37 pm
Phenomenal concept.
But now I wonder what Kev-50 would say to Kev-Now about what I'd say to Kev-20 about what he would have said to Kev-16.
I think the only one I'd like to hear from is Kev-Dead. Mostly so I could know where the ninja attack came from, so I'd have a fighting chance.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@6:38 pm
I'd skip all the advice and get right to the winning Lotto numbers.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@6:54 pm
@ Alli that is the best advice i have seen so far..
i got nothing today, but i gave you an award…
SimpleBruce
Bruce Johnson JADIP
Evil Twin
Bruce’s Evil Twin
The Dreamodeling Guy
dreamodeling!
The Guy Book
The Guy Book
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@7:36 pm
i think sending advice to yourself is pretty stupid anyway, i mean it's not real anyway so what's the point? besides regret is just for suckers anyway…
amberlashell.com
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@7:38 pm
Nice twist to a common subject. I loved it.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@7:39 pm
My advice to my 21 year-old self: don't marry that bug-eyed ugly woman. And, don't drink Jack Daniels on your way home from the Outer Banks at 2 in the morning (which, surprisingly, wasn't why I married the bug-eyed ugly woman).
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@8:18 pm
I understand where you are coming from. But as to your comment on people giving their take on something I only have one thing to add…You have to be careful when saying something like that, many people have lead very different lives and have different life stories and situations that have impacted their point view on the world. As small and meaningless their views or advice may be, it is indivual to that person and someone somewhere may take something out of it. The world would be a much better place if people could give others' the respect of valuing their viewpoints without discriminating against their age, religion, or take on life. Just a thought for you..I'm new at this whole blog deal, and I am a little confused on how this all works, but hopefully this was approperiate in the blog world haha.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@8:33 pm
Hmm, since i havent turn twenty yet i'd tell my fourteen year old self to avoid tech ed rooms with older boys. Then of course i'd sneak in the inevitable sally j******* gets knocked up on prom night. Just because i can be a bit of a gossip.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@8:33 pm
I can really only think of advice that I would give myself one year ago. And that would be "Don't buy the cute kitten named Billy… it has herpes."
No joke… my cat has lung herpes.
http://tennesseemirepoix.blogspot.com
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@8:57 pm
I am only 19 so I'm still learning, so like you said I wouldn't have any really useful advice. But I wouldn't want to go backward in time I would want to go forward, because then you might be able to change it. If its really shit. And to see if they have invented hover cars.
So you could look forward to something.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@9:05 pm
oh and i would also tell 15 minute younger self not to email my cousin telling her "At least you didn't name you kid after a laxative." I feel kind of bad now but the whole situation cracks me up.
http://www.catiesjourney.blogspot.com
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@9:22 pm
A 20-year-old having a poignant conversation with his younger self is like a 20-year-old who writes a fucking memoir. Ridiculous and entirely unnecessary.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@9:26 pm
It's weird, because I married the boyfriend I had when I first went to uni at 18 years old so I guess I would tell my 18 year old self to stick with it, cos it's so worth it. I know people think it is quaint that we are still together and married after getting together at 18, but if you happen to find the one when you are 18, then you can't really put that on hold!
Oh…and I would also remind myself that , yes, high school is a breeze but you do need to put in a modicum of effort at uni…at least that's what I try to tell my high school students, not that they listen to me, but then I didn't listen to my teachers when I was in high school.
KARMA…
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@9:45 pm
Hey Simple Dude. I am new to your blog. Tried to pull up the Half Assed post and my computer would not cooperate, so I think that wasn't meant to be. So, this is a good starting point. I have spent WAY too much time thinking about time machines. Only it is more like in the show BEING ERICA when I would get to go back and get a do-over, so I would actually get to be the old me with the knowledge that the existing me has about how things turn out. Except I overthink it too much and know that I would be really in trouble. I mean… I would get flung back into my senior year in high school and have no idea of my class schedule or my locker combination. These things would seriously f*ck up my day. And then I realize how annoying 17 year old kids are and I would end up making everyone around me angry with me and lose all of my friends. In other words, I would totally scorch my past. And, therefore, my present. I think that maybe time travel doesn't happen for a reason. We would totally screw oursevles over. Yeah, I have put a little more time and thought into this than I probably should have for a normal, well-adjusted person. So, I have nothing for my past self. It all went down the way it was supposed to and my goal is to do better by myself in the present. I think this is what my Future Self would tell me, "Get your stupid mind out of the past where you have no power and worry about the effin present, where you might can do some good." And Future Self has a point. So, I am taking that advice. Future Self would also tell me to clean up my mouth because I curse too much. And I would tell Future Self to stuff it. But that is a lot of me talking with me, and sounds crazy. And this is a first comment. And already WAY TOO LONG. So, I am stopping. This is me. Stopping.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@9:53 pm
20 yr old Bushman walks over to 16 yr old Bushman and says see that guy standing over there watching. That's us at 37. Let's go see if he'll buy us some beer. Some things just wouldn't ever change!!
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@10:10 pm
Today, if I could go back and tell my younger self something, it would be pretty simple:
"You'll learn."
Of course, that's not advice, but … "it is what it is" — wait, that made no sense.
Seriously though — our choices in life make us who we are today, and while I know I am far from perfect, I'm happy to be who I am.
Oh, and I totally agree about 17-year old me giving advice to 16-year old me … Pot. Kettle. Black. Grow up, then give yourself some advice.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@10:11 pm
Ouch, I felt that one. I just posted a few days ago a letter to 14 year old me. But honestly I hadn't seen anyone else do it. Did I start something so lame?!? My life is ruined, I now feel like a tool, thanks
Maybe I should go back 3 days and tell my 3-days-ago self to shut the hell up. But then you wouldn't have a post today. So, basically what I am trying to say is you're welcome!
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@10:33 pm
I think my younger self would probably give my current 2011 self better advice than the other way around.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@10:34 pm
SD…I'm 50 and I haven't told you to shut your damn mouth yet so that should tell you a little something right? haha. Very cool post.
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@10:58 pm
Whattaya gonna say? Regrets are just reminders not to do that again. And them plus the good things equal where yer at now, and if you can't complain there, why bother talking to the angst-ridden caterpillar you were?
Posted on: Jan/24/2011@11:27 pm
I'm pretty sure that 20-year-old Jenna would be asking 16-year-old Jenna for advice instead, such as "How DO you keep your legs together?" 16-year-old Jenna was much less of a whore… 24-year-old Jenna is still wondering how 20-year-old Jenna had such a hard time of it.
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@12:35 am
i would tell my younger self to enjoy life more because all the things i she had planned to do inher early 20's ain't happening.
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@12:38 am
I'm about to turn 30 and I'm fine with it. As for what I'd tell myself now…"Get off your lazy ass."
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@2:19 am
I would only want to address Saturday night's self. I would tell myself that since I'm going to wake up on Sunday feeling guilty for making out with that chick, I may as well just go ahead and get laid. I'm a chick. The guilt would be the same regardless (because I'm super-sensitive) and at least I could've gotten an orgasm out of it!
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@2:35 am
That is why our parents give us that "when I was your age" speeches. No time machine necessary
Now, if I could go back to my 20's, I would just sit back and laugh because what I thought was such a big deal back then is just trivial BS now. Great insight, though….
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@3:50 am
lotto numbers, investment advise and the number of the best financial lawyer that hasn't been indicted thus far. Everything else will be freaking rainbows!
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@3:57 am
Good thing to bring up. If you saw over at Jumble Mash, I did one of those to my 13 year old self. Reason why I did that? Well for one I had no idea what to write the guest post about, the other reason?
I was seriously messed up then and if I could reassure myself that things would end up okay in the end I probably would have gotten a grip and stopped being a whiny little brat haha.
http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@4:29 am
Please tell your 20-year-old self to warn all his friends about death-grip masturbation. That's not a good idea for anyone…
a bitch called mom
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@4:42 am
I get the same thing about the kids that come on tv saying things like 'i've wanted this my whole life' or 'i cant imagine doing anything else with my life' when they are only 15 or 16!
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@8:55 am
What I try to do every once in while is pretend I'm 10-20 years older already, and write to my current self. I imagine what I have, what I am, what experience I had – I write it all in past tense. It's a pretty calming "ritual", gives me sth to look forward to, because my 40-yr-old-self writes about what already happened, and my 20-sth-self is happy about the results, gets a kick in the ass to aim towards those things…. ummm, am I making sense? ;P
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@9:35 am
Seriously, guys, I read the post and all the 80 million comments just to come away with this…what the holy fuck balls are LUNG HERPES and how the HELL did that person's cat catch it???
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@4:16 pm
I'm only 26, but I would like to tell my 16-year-old self: Your boyfriend is probably just a transvestite, not gay, so just go with it… you have plenty of years to be old and boring.
http://www.judiciousjailbird.blogspot.com
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@5:09 pm
Don't invest a lot of time learing/practicing the Running Man. Rob Base's music might be timeless, but this dance does indeed have an expiration date. Oh yeah, and MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice are the only ones who can truly pull off MC Hammer pants. Spread the news!
Posted on: Jan/25/2011@8:09 pm
This post is brilliant
20-year-old self would tell 16-year-old self to lighten the fuck up! Life will soon be graced by all the sins the church is teaching you about right now :p
Man would that church be pissed off by how I turned out
Posted on: Jan/26/2011@11:53 pm