Jan
31
I’d Rather Be Hungover
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 31-01-2011
First off – to all of you that commented about how I didn’t sound very drunk in my drunken post over the weekend? It’s taken about 20 years of drinking to be this coherent and drunk all at that same time. Practice makes perfect right?
I write all my posts in advance… sometimes just a day or two, sometimes a week, depending on when an idea hits me. Right now as I write this on Sunday afternoon I am sick. I think it’s just a standard cold, but its enough to make me miserable. I felt this starting to come on Saturday morning, although at the time I thought it was a hangover. But it didn’t go away. By the time I went to bed Saturday night I knew it was something more.
Today I have barely left the couch all day. It’s been a nice, lazy day. Well, it would be nice if not for the whole sickness thing. All I have done is research airfare and hotels for a trip to Vegas the Lady Friend and I will be taking in May. No, we are not eloping – I even told a friend of mine I will give him my house if we come back married. Unfortunately with my laziness today – and being in a cold medicine fog – I had a tough time coming up with a post idea.
So I’m going to take a day off. I’ll leave you with this thought – we ran out of kleenex today so I have gone through nearly a full roll of TP without ever wiping my ass. My nose is raw.
The top comment over the weekend was another one of those “why didn’t I think of that” moments. Lauren at Inarticulate Sparkle asked:
“You think the candelabra (candle bra?) would work on boxed wine too?”
If I had one, I’d sure as hell try.
SD
hope you feel better soon..
but eat some chicken noodle soup and put a hot towel over your head…
oh and lots of nyquil! if you don't have any nyquil… tart cherry juice and cheap vodka taste the same as the red stuff and have prettymuch the same effect!
Bruce
Bruce Johnson JADIP
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Posted on: Jan/31/2011@4:35 pm
yes feel better eat lots of soup and get someone to bring you some Puffs with lotion
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@4:41 pm
Feel better dude! I'm right there with you! My mouth tastes like morning breath and the bike seats on the show The Biggest Loser!
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@4:50 pm
If you feel like you're losing your ability to think and speak, you're turning into a Zombie. I hear that starts out as feeling a little under the weather. Before your mind completely rots into jelly nothingness, try to write a post from your Zombie perspective. It might be entertaining.
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@4:55 pm
It sucks to be sick, how you feel better soon.
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@5:01 pm
If you have to resort to TP on the raw nose, use chapstick on the nose too. Seriously it helps it from cracking and bleeding and being so sore. Feel better. Listen to mama.
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@5:04 pm
Hope you get to feeling better SD. Did you see my half-assed post on saturday? it had something special for the men, that I think you would enjoy…
amberlashell.com
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@5:23 pm
i hate cold.
it makes my nose red
and it makes me hard to breath.
and the worst is when i realize that i've spent -read:wasted- most of the money i have for buying tissue instead of buying chips..
get well soon, dude!
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@5:35 pm
Isn't TP softer than Kleenex? Maybe not… but if it isn't, it should be. I'd rather my ass get the softer materials.
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@5:58 pm
I just got over a bad cold & know how much it sucks. Get well soon, SD.
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@6:33 pm
Karma is a bitch. You totally should not have made fun of that toilet mug. *ironi*
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@6:36 pm
Awe!! Feel better soon!
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@6:52 pm
Being sick with the red swollen nose thing sucks hairy donkey balls. If you slather your nose area with cortisone cream and drink half a bottle of nyquil you should be feeling much better by tomorrow. Get well my friend!
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@8:28 pm
Ever notice how when we're out of toilet paper we run to the store asap? I tried the lotion tissues on the butt once, and every swipe it would just slide straight through. Not fun. Lotion's just not designed for butt wiping!
ツ my cyber house rules
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@8:51 pm
sorry you are not feeling well my friend… be like my better half and milk it for all its worth! Take it easy!
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@9:21 pm
Even with Kleenex my nose gets raw. I put some Vaseline on it, especially when I go to bed. Help immensely! Hope you feel better soon!
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@9:41 pm
I agree the box wine comment was a winner. The only good thing about a cold is that means you generally have awhile before you get sick again.
Get it done and over with!
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@10:56 pm
What's wrong with getting eloped in Vegas??! Don't knock before you try it
Hope you feel better!
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@11:09 pm
Just found your blog, hope you feel better soon
Posted on: Jan/31/2011@11:55 pm
Remember: feed a cold, starve a fever. Or is that starve a cold, feed a fever? Wait a minute, I think it's actually waterboard a cold, attach battery cables to a fever's testicles. Or…something like that.
Get well.
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@12:11 am
Ignore Al!!! He was talking about testicles on my blog too… Am thinking he is little obsessed with that part of his anatomy right now!!!
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@12:35 am
A hot toddy. Tea, honey, lemon, and whiskey. It'll work wonders.
I'm sorry you're sick. Feel better soon.
visions unto myself
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@1:00 am
If you run out of toilet paper, you could move to wiping it on the backs of things people don't see (i.e. cushions, guest rooms sheets, the wife's underwear at the bottom of the drawer, etc.)
I'm new here. Hello! Give me a visit
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@2:13 am
Hope you feel better by now, SD.
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@3:57 am
Bitch, bitch, bitch. Whine, whine, whine. You wanna know about my day? My car broke down, so I had to take it to the shop. Yeah, I had to walk in the snow, uphill, both ways carrying my brother on my back. And you want to cry about blowing your nose on toilet paper? When I was a kid, we didn't even have toilet paper. We used to go to the grocery store and take the soft tissue paper that they wrapped the fruit in and that is what we'd use for toilet paper. Except, we were so poor, that we always got the paper that the prickly pears were wrapped in. Imagine blowing your nose on that! Now imagine wiping your ass with it. Not a pretty picture, is it? So quit your whining, take some Nyquil, and be thankful you get to blow your nose on multi-plied tissue with cute, cuddly puppies on the package.
Hahahaha – That's what I want to be like when I grow up.
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@4:53 am
You seem to have many comments offering you well wishes and advice. I share the sentiment. It blows to be sick and I certainly hope your suffering is to a minimum. My advice, another group of letters strung together my a stranger, drink another beer and party it out. Every time I get a sore throat, I'm hittin the Vodka. Alcohol kills the bad stuff, right?
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@5:55 am
I went through a whole roll of toilet paper without blowing my nose today….
It's not my nose that's raw.
But I can kinda sympathize.
http://arealgoodblog.blogspot.com
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@6:38 am
You poor thing. Feel better soon. A man cold is such a dreadful thing to have to deal with. Hope Ladyfriend is giving you the attention a man nearly dying deserves. Perhaps a little bell, so she can come fluff your pillows?
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@11:38 am
feel better soon
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@11:40 am
This has nothing to do with anything but every time I open your blog, I have a major craving for tatter tots. Damn you!!!
(and feel better soon)
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@12:13 pm
I'm with ya, guy. I've been sick all weekend and it doesn't make for great writing.
Hope you feel better soon!
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@2:35 pm
Home sick with the flu and it blows…anyway had to stop by and say CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! Best new blogger!? Are you kidding me!? What a roll you are on. Couldn't have gone to a better blogger. YAY YOU!!!!
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@4:35 pm
I'll bet winning a 2011 Boomerang Award for Best Newbie Blog would make you feel better…
a bitch called mom
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@5:06 pm
Hey, you step on your testicles when putting on your shoes and get back to me. Oh, woe is me, the sagging of age.
Look on the bright side, I could be talking about man boobs (wow, I think I just did).
Seriously, do I sound like a looker or what?
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@8:46 pm
Feel better soon!
CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@9:42 pm
Feel better soon, and just know you are not alone; it appears everyone is coming down with something. We had two staff members go home today. Fell better y'all and stay home please!
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@11:51 pm