This is sort of a Half Assed Weekend post, on a Friday. It’s not an official Half Assed Weekend post – mainly because I still plan to do a REAL Half Assed Weekend post tomorrow… or maybe Sunday. Who knows, I’m Half-Assing this as I go.
The Lady Friend and I give each other a lot of shit. It’s all in fun, and we make each other laugh. The other day we were both at work, emailing back and forth. I was telling her that I had gotten into work that day expecting to find a banana in my desk. No, that’s nothing dirty. I mean an actual fucking banana. They are great mid-afternoon snacks… and a lot healthier then a bag of chips. I’m not saying I don’t eat a bag of chips now and then, just saying a banana would be a healthier choice!
So back to the story… I brought a banana in the day before to eat, but forgot about it sitting in my desk drawer. I remembered while I was driving home and figured it’ll be there for me tomorrow. So the next day I’m sitting at my desk thinking “Hmmm… a banana would be good right now.” Yes, I still mean an actual banana. So I open my desk drawer and it’s gone.
This kind of pissed me off, since we have had a couple instances in the last few months suspecting that someone is going into our offices and turning on our computers. We know the security guards in our building will sometimes stop and watch the TV in the common area outside my office late at night – we have seen them when stopping back after loooooonnnggg happy hours. That doesn’t bother me, but if someone is actually sitting at our computers and turning them on… now that does. No, it’s not our IT dept, I have talked to them about it. But that’s not part of THIS story.
After stewing a little bit about my missing banana, I go back to work. A few minutes later I grab my bag / briefcase thingy to get some paperwork out of it and see the damn thing sitting in there. Turns out I never even took it out of my bag the previous day. So while I thought I left it at work, I actually took it home, it sat in the bag overnight and I brought it back to work. I ate it with a smile.
So back to my email to the Lady Friend. I explained the whole goofy scenario to her, including my suspicions that someone stole it out of my desk overnight. Below you’ll see her response… but I should first tell you that “Abe” is the name of a monkey. Well, a stuffed monkey actually. Specifically a stuffed monkey with a Christmas theme… you see, he wears fake antlers on his head. I don’t know where the hell the Lady Friend got him… or it… but it’s something she’s put under the Christmas tree for the couple Christmases that we’ve been dating.
So this is what she emailed me:
I blame Abe. I’ve heard he’s been sneaking out late at night, taking the bus downtown and somehow getting into your office (my guess is through the ventilation system—he’s been watching a lot of Mission Impossible lately). He must have taken your banana out of your desk (probably thinking he’ll eat it on the bus on the way back but some creepy guy kept checking it out and so he thought better of it). He got home, heard us rustling in our sleep, was afraid to get busted eating the banana so he hid it in your bag.
If there ever comes a time in my life where I wonder why we’re dating.. I just have to read this. I think she needs her own blog!
Once again I wanted to remind all of you to check out Studio30 Plus. If you are at least 30 years old, visit this site – you’ll dig it.
There are only a couple days left to vote for their Boomerang Awards
and I have been nominated in a couple categories and would totally appreciate th votes! You’ll get my undying gratitude and may even consider naming my first born child after you.
The other day I posted about opening doors for people behind you.. Jarheadxbox cracked me up with the following comment:
If I’m at the door and there’s someone behind me, I try to slam it closed as fast as I can, no matter what side of it I end up on, so that no one else can profit from my hard work.
Awesome… also, to Jarheadxbox: my brother was in the marines for seven years, as was my best friend for four years. Semper Fi!