This is sort of a Half Assed Weekend post, on a Friday. It’s not an official Half Assed Weekend post – mainly because I still plan to do a REAL Half Assed Weekend post tomorrow… or maybe Sunday. Who knows, I’m Half-Assing this as I go.
The Lady Friend and I give each other a lot of shit. It’s all in fun, and we make each other laugh. The other day we were both at work, emailing back and forth. I was telling her that I had gotten into work that day expecting to find a banana in my desk. No, that’s nothing dirty. I mean an actual fucking banana. They are great mid-afternoon snacks… and a lot healthier then a bag of chips. I’m not saying I don’t eat a bag of chips now and then, just saying a banana would be a healthier choice!
So back to the story… I brought a banana in the day before to eat, but forgot about it sitting in my desk drawer. I remembered while I was driving home and figured it’ll be there for me tomorrow. So the next day I’m sitting at my desk thinking “Hmmm… a banana would be good right now.” Yes, I still mean an actual banana. So I open my desk drawer and it’s gone.
This kind of pissed me off, since we have had a couple instances in the last few months suspecting that someone is going into our offices and turning on our computers. We know the security guards in our building will sometimes stop and watch the TV in the common area outside my office late at night – we have seen them when stopping back after loooooonnnggg happy hours. That doesn’t bother me, but if someone is actually sitting at our computers and turning them on… now that does. No, it’s not our IT dept, I have talked to them about it. But that’s not part of THIS story.
After stewing a little bit about my missing banana, I go back to work. A few minutes later I grab my bag / briefcase thingy to get some paperwork out of it and see the damn thing sitting in there. Turns out I never even took it out of my bag the previous day. So while I thought I left it at work, I actually took it home, it sat in the bag overnight and I brought it back to work. I ate it with a smile.
So back to my email to the Lady Friend. I explained the whole goofy scenario to her, including my suspicions that someone stole it out of my desk overnight. Below you’ll see her response… but I should first tell you that “Abe” is the name of a monkey. Well, a stuffed monkey actually. Specifically a stuffed monkey with a Christmas theme… you see, he wears fake antlers on his head. I don’t know where the hell the Lady Friend got him… or it… but it’s something she’s put under the Christmas tree for the couple Christmases that we’ve been dating.
So this is what she emailed me:
I blame Abe. I’ve heard he’s been sneaking out late at night, taking the bus downtown and somehow getting into your office (my guess is through the ventilation system—he’s been watching a lot of Mission Impossible lately). He must have taken your banana out of your desk (probably thinking he’ll eat it on the bus on the way back but some creepy guy kept checking it out and so he thought better of it). He got home, heard us rustling in our sleep, was afraid to get busted eating the banana so he hid it in your bag.
If there ever comes a time in my life where I wonder why we’re dating.. I just have to read this. I think she needs her own blog!
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Once again I wanted to remind all of you to check out Studio30 Plus. If you are at least 30 years old, visit this site – you’ll dig it.
There are only a couple days left to vote for their
Boomerang Awards and I have been nominated in a couple categories and would totally appreciate th votes! You’ll get my undying gratitude and may even consider naming my first born child after you.
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The other day I posted about opening doors for people behind you.. Jarheadxbox cracked me up with the following comment:
If I’m at the door and there’s someone behind me, I try to slam it closed as fast as I can, no matter what side of it I end up on, so that no one else can profit from my hard work.
Awesome… also, to Jarheadxbox: my brother was in the marines for seven years, as was my best friend for four years. Semper Fi!
SD
Any girl with whom you can happily play THIS version of Hide the Banana is probably a keeper!
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@4:48 pm
Haha that's great!
http://www.rebeccabany.com
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@4:51 pm
She is definitely blog worthy.
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@4:55 pm
Hide the banana. Ha. Good post Dude.
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@4:56 pm
I really like your lady friend.
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@5:01 pm
What a story! Memory lapses happen to me too. But not with bananas. It's with my Doritos chips. LOL I forget which drawer I put it in. Then I'd think someone took it if I didn't find it. Bad.
Thanks for sharing your fun banana story!
http://brownbugz.blogspot.com
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@5:01 pm
lmfao this was classic! I got fired from a job for blaming someone for allegedly stealing my 40dollar stapler… the same one I stole from my boss. I got snitched on in my search for the theif!
Payback will be mine!
Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches with the other punk as bitches
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@5:10 pm
That is funny if you would name your first born child after me. The looks you would get over "Come to Daddy, CBG!"
LOL
I love bananas but I can't take the texture in my mouth (still talking about an actual banana of course ;op)
CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@5:20 pm
Awww, that's so cute!~♥
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@5:40 pm
I would say that these Memory lapses come with age, but then I remember that all us who happen to be of a tender age experience it as well… "Forgetting" to do our homework, take a bath, chores, etc. As well as walking into a room and forgetting what you came there for, so having to retrace your steps… I would put it down to just plain stupid human-ness.
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@5:43 pm
Hmmm.. Names for her blog? Simple Friend.. Simple Dudette.. Simply Complex.. Ha! I've got it… Complex Girl in a Simple World.
http://talkativetaurus.blogspot.com/
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@5:46 pm
hehe, cute story
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@5:53 pm
That often happens to me but with my mobile phone instead of bananas. Yet I think my short term memory is slowly getting worse as my life goes on. Write a note on it to take it out your bag next time.
http://www.bloggingsam.blogspot.com
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@5:58 pm
you know i've heard stuffed monkeys were really sneaky like that. It's why i don't have any.
amberlashell.com
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@5:59 pm
My hubby and I have never played hide the banana but he does like to play hide the baby leg.
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@6:17 pm
I was also going to suggest that she start her own blog. The "Mission Impossible" bit was pretty clever.
And I don't know which sounds dirtier, "Hide the banana" or "My girlfriend's stuffed monkey."
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@6:23 pm
What? What? I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear! hahahaha! I crack myself up…
ツ my cyber house rules
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@6:27 pm
I do that all the time, i actually walked into the store forgot my grocery list go back to the car. "What was i looking for again?" Go back into the store only to remember the list. Go back to the car get the list go back into the store. Then i realize i left my kroger card in the ashtray. Sigh it took me fifteen minutes to even begin shopping. Then i get back home to be informed by my loving family we were out of tp. If this only gets worse with age by the time i hit thirty i wont even remember my own name!
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@6:28 pm
Dude. You need a banana guard. (And I'm not talking about condoms.) Google it. They're awkwardly phallic and that might help with the coworker banana pilfering too. (I have no idea what I'm saying, as usual. Just have a nice day.)
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@7:00 pm
I think it would be fun for your lady friend to write a guest post for us here.
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@7:18 pm
Glad you found your banana. Food disappears out of the refrigerators here at work. I left a whole breakfast pizza in there one day only to come back to find that someone had eaten all but about 4 slices of it. Seriously, what motivates people to steal other peoples food?
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@7:23 pm
love your lady friend she is very funny and loved the post great job
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@7:47 pm
Sounds like your Lady Friend is a little fruity, but that's probably why you're attracted to her!!
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@8:06 pm
First born??? Mini dudelets running around is a terrifying thought indeed… and I love that you andthe Lady Friend are so symbiotic ox
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@8:30 pm
Well maybe Abe thought that the banana was a bomb that was going to detonate in your desk so when he went and started acting all Mission Impossible with the theme music (can't have Mission Impossible without the music), he noticed that the bomb would only be deactivated in your briefcase.
So long story short, after getting the ticking banana out of your desk he took out his wand that he got when he attended Hogwarts and apparated back to your house to stick the banana in your briefcase and once it was in it stopped ticking.
After a long night of saving the world, he grabbed a non-explosive banana and went back to his usual hide out with Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.
http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com
Posted on: Jan/28/2011@11:27 pm
Since women are known for being too complicated for their own good, would her blog be called "Complicated Dudette in a Simple World"?
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@12:06 am
Well, at least the banana had had quite an adventure…and look, a post dedicated to it…:)
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@12:35 am
That Lady Friend of yours is a keeper!
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@1:03 am
I work in a school and we get broken into all the time (because it's so well known that schools are rich, right?). Anyway, a few months ago I had my computer stolen and a work mate had her computer and her pencil case stolen. Pencil case…hmmm…odd, but OK. THEN 2 months later we were broken into again and ALL that was taken was her new pencil case, the one to replace the stolen one. What The …?
She has swapped desks with someone else because she thinks her desk is cursed! I just think it's kinda funny!
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@1:44 am
And here I was thinking that hide the banana was a new fandangled version of hide the salami.
Great story and yes, the lady friend should definitley have a blog of her own!!
http://rantersbox.blogspot.com/
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@2:48 am
Adorkable.. That was too cute, and he'll love that. You suck!
LOL
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@3:10 am
I like Krissy's Complex Girl in a Simple World.
Or Complex Lady Friend in a Simple World.
That spells L-O-V-E!
Seriously?… Reeeally??… Seriously?
Or hot monkey sex.
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@6:25 am
Now I have the theme from Mission Impossible chasing through my head and visions of Tom Cruise stealing your banana
the missus sounds like a wonderful funny lady.
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@11:43 am
Hahaha, great one. Sounds like a match made in heaven. Enjoy your little games of hiding bananas, which will ALWAYS sound dirty no matter how you spin it.
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@1:46 pm
I second that! Yes, tell her to start a blog and we'll all happily tag along! – G
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@4:19 pm
Recognize, fool! I win the internet!
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@6:34 pm
That post was half assed? Damn haha. I enjoyed it. You hid that banana very well
follow: My blog
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@6:38 pm
Honestly, I don't think anyone can make a banana post this funny, you've got skill. It takes great blogging skills to make bananas appealing…
Posted on: Jan/29/2011@8:25 pm
Back before I took my early retirement and started my own biz ("You'll send me a check to not come back to work? Where do I sign?") there was an incident in the factory when one of the guys thought his lunch had been stolen from the break area refrigerator. There had been a rash of lunch thefts, and no one was sure who was taking other people's food.
Anyway, the guy whose lunch was missing that particular day was a rather large, highly exciteable young black man. He dug through the refrigerator, and when he didn't find his Tupperware plate from home, pitched a fit. He stomped around the break room, demanded the guilty party fess up, then went a little bit nuts; pulled the refrigerator over, turned over a vending machine or two, threw a lunchroom chair at the office windows, turned over tables, etc.
Security was summoned, and he was escorted to the nurse's station for a mandatory drug screening. While there, security decided to check his vehicle for weapons and drugs before suspending him for the night and sending him home. They didn't find drugs, or a weapon, but they did find a really nice Tupperware dish with a home made meal in it on the seat of his truck.
The company fired the guy. BUT, no more lunches were stolen from the break area fridge.
There's that…
Posted on: Jan/30/2011@4:21 am
Your Lady Friend's response made me laugh so hard! Force her to make a blog…PLEASE!
-Lindsay
http://noomoreblogs.blogspot.com
Posted on: Feb/1/2011@5:01 am