Half Assed Weekend – Jan 29

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 29-01-2011

Time for a Half Assed Weekend post.  As you know by now, weekend posts get about half the views, half the comments and half the attention.  So I say… why not put in half the effort?  Who’s in this week?

The last couple weekends I put out posts highlighting the 6-Pack Drink Holster and a Toilet Mug.  Both were part of a catalog I got in the mail that apparently was full of stupid crap that only suckers would buy.  Paging through this brilliant thing I found one more idiotic piece of shit that was blog worthy.  So, without further ado let me introduce you to the Wine Bottle Candelabra. 

So where do I start with this.  Lets say you’re sitting at home with your significant other.  Or some chick you picked up in the bar. You decide you want to get your buzz on…  so you open up a bottle of Mad Dog or maybe you go all high-class and have a bottle of Boone’s Farm.  You polish that sucker off like the cheap ass mutha fucka you are.

And then you think to yourself… damn, it sure is dark in here.  How can I fix the darkness issue in this place, and make use of this empty bottle too?  Voila.  The Wine Bottle Candelabra.  Stuff that candelabra thing down in your empty bottle, light the candles and you are good to go.  Instant romance. 

What I wonder is it would work in a bottle of Jack?  Or maybe some Captain Morgan?  Or my booze of choice, Jameson??  Now that would be good – and it would give your candles a nice Irish touch.

Can you imagine Ebenezer Scrooge in his PJs, pissing and moaning about some ghost, carrying this thing around his old house late at night?  Well, at least that makes SOME sense.  But suburban John Doe and his wife Jill?  No.  People who take their wine drinking seriously are not going to use this…  am I right?


Incidentally, this is my first attempt at a drunken post.  Yep – got me a nice buzz going right now – and no, the empty bottle will not be turned into a source of light.  I’m writing this at about midnight on Friday, with plans to schedule it to post Saturday afternoon.  So… drunken posting a good or bad idea?

Since I’ve been hitting the Jameson, I am not going to highlight any comments this time.  I did read them all though, as I always do… and once again you have all proven to be the best commenters on the net.  Keep ‘em coming.

Don’t forget to vote for me over at Studio30 Plus!  Just a couple days left!!  And once you’re there, friend me!  I’ll buy you a cheeseburger or some shit. 



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