You May Not Want To Go In There

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 29-12-2010

Well it was bound to happen eventually, and yesterday it did.  The Lady Friend came home from the store and walked in the garage door just in time to see me coming down from the upstairs bathroom, heading towards the downstairs bathroom.  Why was I toilet hopping?  I was bringing the plunger down to take care of some business.  Yep, I plugged that sucker.  Hey, it happens..  even to Simple Dudes. 
Of course she immediately started laughing, probably as a defense mechanism since deep down I know she was grossed out by the thought of what took place just before she walked in the door.  But to her credit, all she did was laugh.  And then she told me “It’s official now, I’m living with Archie Bunker.“  She’s great. 
Not sure why we don’t have a plunger in the main floor bathroom – it would have saved me the trouble of having that whole scene.  It’s not like it was embarrassing…  it takes a hell of a lot more than that to embarrass me.  But this incident reminded me of something else that happened just a couple weeks after I moved in.  The Lady Friend has little air freshener sprays in each of the bathrooms.  She mentioned to me one night that I should make a point of using it… you know… when appropriate.  I assumed she must have stumbled into the bathroom after one of my visits, which was why she brought it up.
So since then I have made a point to use the sprays..  uh.. when appropriate.  But I wonder what good etiquette would dictate about that when you KNOW the other person is not going to have to experience the tainted air?  For instance, when she is not home I am not going to use the spray.  I’m just not.  Sure the smell bothers me a little but after i’ve done my business I won’t be back in there again – at least not until the air has cleared.  To be honest, I NEVER sprayed when I lived alone, unless there was someone else visiting. 
And likewise, if she is upstairs watching TV and I use the downstairs bathroom (or the other way around) and I know for a fact that she won’t be going into the bathroom should I still spray?  I actually sprayed once even though I knew it was unnecessary but the scent from the spray was stronger and wafted out into the next room.  So like 30 minutes later she walks by and smells it – then proceeds to give me shit (no pun intended) about it.  Had I not sprayed at all, the evidence would have been gone long before she came by.
I know this isn’t exactly a rosy topic but I was just wondering what happens in other peoples households. 
When no one is around do you bother to spray? 
Maybe you don’t spray at all?
Smelly bastard. 

P.S.  Don’t forget to send me some questions.  Sort of an Ask Simple Dude advice column.  You can send serious questions, goofy questions, whatever the hell you want.  simpledudemail @   I’ll post answers in a future post!

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