The Simple DudeA Simple Dude in a Complex World

I have heard it argued about the underhand roll, but those same people also beleive that the world is flat.

If there is no one around, there is no spray.

I have noticed that my kids won't go into my bedroom if they know I have been anywhere near the throne in the last 4 hours.

I say spray if there is a chance that someone will enter the bathroom after you. If not, then who cares? Most of the time spraying something just makes it worse anyways. Flower scented shit still smells like shit

If a tree falls in a forest and there's no one there to see, it still falls. And the log doesn't fall far from the tree. Especially big fat stinky ones. Just use the damn spray and stop poolosophising.

OMG how funny and true is this? Yes the TP hangs that way. And Bruce continually will put it on backwards so I continually fix it. He is a little slow I think so he'll catch on. Heck we've only lived together for 3 years. Geesh.

I personally use the courtesy flush system. It works pretty darn good. Flush as soon as you go and then worry about the clean up later. If air freshener is then needed, I do use it. Especially since we are on one floor. Good post SD. Love your girlfriend. She sounds fun!

We use matches. They work way better than sprays and neutralize the smell all together

I don't spray unless my boyfriend is over (contrary to popular belief – it's not strawberries and whip cream that comes out) – if I'm alone, I don't care.
Boyfriend turns the fan on when he is over and that usually does the trick, cause he's in there for … hours (or so it seems)… not sure if he sprays or not, but I just don't go in there either way!

Correct illustration regarding the toilet paper loading. I am a sprayer. Apparently I'm not like a lot of people who enjoy the smell so much they take reading material while they wait on the odor to build.

I never go in after Matt. Ever. I know that it's going to take a good hour before whatever died in his ass no longer is waiting to contaminate my lungs. Thankfully, we have a second toilet… in front of the washing machine..right off the kitchen. So I get stuck peeing in there. We have a rule- adults poop upstairs only. Kids can go in either. Olivia has a bit of a pooping problem, so she holds it for DAYS (just for fun and spite) so when she does go– holy man. Most of the time it's the size of a softball (seriously) and there are 2-3 of them. At ONE TIME. But the worst? Is when i have to use the special poop spoon to cut it in half. Because otherwise it's 3 feet of poop log. *sigh* FML.

I a with you 100% on the toilet paper. We keep sprays in our batherooms but I am sneaky. I use a box of matches I keep hidden in there. You light a match it burns the smell completely away. No tell-tale lingering air freshener scent to give you away.

We never spray unless it is so bad that you can smell it in the adjacent rooms. This may be gross to some people but at my house there are two of us who are extremely allergic to most of the smells the sprays give off. Loving the right way to load the TP

Totally agree with the front loading TP; I will change it anywhere to face the front.

Matches are the solution for sure; removes the nastiness instead of making it smell like a unicorn fart.

That is absolutely the right way to load the TP on the roll – how else do hotels fold the exposed edge into the point? (admittedly, I've done that in my house when company is over, no OCD here, nope, no how no way)

Spray when others are home (unless I'm leaving a payback "gift" for hubby) but I agree, matches are by far more effective. Always have a book in the purse when out visiting in case of a poomergency.

thegoodthebadthewtf.blogspot.com

Apparently, I need to do a poop post because it seems to be the "in" thing to do lately. Who knew?

I don't spray unless someone else is around. I agree with those who said to use matches. I can't stand walking into an area where someone has sprayed so much you can taste it. Yuck!

http://talkativetaurus.blogspot.com/

You are hilarious. Only you would write about this. I agree with you wholeheartedly about the proper way to load toilet paper. I have gone to other people's houses, used their bathrooms and turned the toilet paper around if I have to. It's just wrong to put it in the other way. And..use matches. when you stink up the bathroom, use a match. trust me. works like a charm. just light it. and then blow it out. it's the smell of the sulpher that immediately kills the smell of anything else in the air. trust me. try it. save you having to pollute the environment with the sprays that are bad for you.

If kids can read a book titled, "Everybody poops" then I think we can be adults about it. I'm not a fan of stenches in a bathroom I have to visit but we have two in my house (one for the g-mom and guests and one in my master bedroom)so it's not usually a problem.

Then there are times my grandmother is a dirty dirty woman and the smell wafts through the condo to my room…not okay! The reason for this…she doesn't even bother with the fan! Come on now! I think if there is a fan-use it…leave it on if need be for a bit…but spray gives me a headache so there is no need for that.

There's this bathroom at my work that has three different sprays to mitigate fecal stench. Half the time, I forget to spray anyway and then remember as I pass someone on the way to the can. Oops.

I hate using the air freshener because it just makes it smell worse for longer, just open the window and close the door!

http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

Ok so we know about how the toilet paper should go on the roll, and your spraying habits. One question. Ae you a folder or a scruncher?

You totally put the TP backwards, anyone with 1/4 brain knows that….I spray when needed i.e. when the stench is so bad even dead rats smell better.

When no one is home, I do not spray. When someone is home, I spray, keep the fan on, and keep the bathroom door ajar. That is the agreement within the house.

Oh yeah,…well,..we just shit outside! (keep that lime handy)

OMG, I just read a comment that reminded me,…my husband grew fond of the one spray I had that smelled like fresh grass or whatever. So he'd get done, spray the stuff and the combination smelled like our dog did something out on the lawn that I'd have to clean up!

never spray in the ManCave pooperplace…

and just leave the roll on the tank lid…

cuz that's how i roll

in the chix powder room..well, im not allowed…
Bruce
bruce johnson jadip
evilbruce
stupid stuff i see and hear
Bruce’s guy book
the guy book

that is the ONLY way to load the TP in the dispenser.

ALSO. never spray. we're filthy beasts in this house. and when you've been so drunk that you think you're about to pass gas and accidentally shit a little bit on a hotel bed and the guy STILL asks you to marry him, well, spray is not necessary.

I think that, the majority of the time, when you spray something…it just ends up smelling like shit AND whatever scent you used.

I only spray if I know someone is going to be going in the bathroom right after me. Except in the office…then I never spray at all. Because I share a private bathroom with my boss and she has a habit of leaving pubes on the toilet seat. So, in return, I go in, do my business, then close the door and wait for her "Oh my god".

Because I'm classy like that.

I found your blog from Miley's place! THAT is EXACTLY how the toilet paper goes and I have been known to change it at other people's homes…LOL I'm happy that you agree to spray, my hubby will NOT spray, EVER!

I feel defeated on the proper way to hang toilet paper. I feel it should be hung with the hanging square under the role. I think that makes it easier to tear? But EVERYONE else I know seems to think it goes the other way, so alas, I concede.

For the question you asked though: I detest the smell that comes out of spray cans, which lingers much longer than the smell that comes from … other stuff. With my "man friend", when we spend the night together, and he … you know, and then I have to go to the bathroom, I make no mention of any smells. But then again, he farts all the time while we're just hanging out, so I'm used to smelling him … (that sounds groser than it really is, I think …)

I think, or at least hope, that every couple gets to a point in their relationship where such things aren't embarassing or annoying or hidden, per se. It is just part of being human. And two people in a relationship need a certain level of comfort with one another. Of course, not all women (or men, for that matter) will agree with me, but I'm OK with that.

I don't care how the paper is put on the roll as long as it is there when I need it. Nothing pisses me off more than having to yell for TP!
I spray when no one is around because I am one stinky bitch.
And I am the one who clogs the toilet not my hubby.
Jess

What I can't understand is why "some" people (he knows who he is) can't anticipate what he will be doing in there and turn on the fan before he sits down. Like you didn't know what you were going to do? Like you thought that this one wouldn't be a 'bad' one? (Newsflash: They all smell bad. End of discussion.) **eye roll** – G

Dude, you don't even know! I am married to a man who has 2 adult sons and a 15 year old son they are ALL proud of what they can do. I truly believe they have something wrong with them and I have told them so. They are not going to spray. They want the stench to linger out into the house so they can laugh about it. The 15 year old will close the door after he comes out so the smell will knock you down or make you gag if you go in soon after. It's like he's setting me up! The 2 older ones are guaranteed to have to shit every time they come to my house. Luckily, we have a window near the bathroom and I don't care what the temp is outside, I'll freeze their stinking asses off!

A proper bathroom has a proper ventilation fan. Not only to keep the air clear of noxious gases…but to keep the steam off of the walls and ceiling after hot showers.

When our house was built…I had them upgrade all fans to the highest volume ones…greatest investment.

Shiroi Tora
http://2echild.blogspot.com/

MATCHES, MATCHES, MATCHES. Or incense. You know. Because I'm a dirty hippie and all that.

When my brother lived with me, his favorite trick after dropping a particularly rancid deuce was to wave the bathroom door back and forth frantically to try to waft the toxins in my direction.

Now he lives with his girlfriend and she gets to bask in his charm.

I am loving this, at least your girl was really cool about everything. It is a good sign. I mean, my husband clogged my roommate's toilet..on the SECOND day I had even known him. Worked out fine for us! (not so much for my roommate though, ha)

I agree that to most of the world the TP should load from the top. But for my hubby and me, both being disabled, we found the TP going under made it easier for us to tear off what we needed.

As to a problem a lot of women have, how should the seat be left, up or down. Do you put the seat down when you are finished? My hubby was a very considerate man and always put the seat down when he was finished and taught all of his sons to do the same. One of the many reasons I loved that man.

have noticed that my kids won't go into my bedroom if they know I have been anywhere near the throne in the last 4 hours.

I grew up in a house full of men. And of course my mom and i were the minority. Farting was considered funny, the smellier the better. I jsut learned to deal with the smell and avoid the stupid spray. Knowing my brother he would have turned it into a flame thrower anyway.