Dec
27
Once Horrifying, Now Funny
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 27-12-2010
Ok, funny story alert. Funny now anyway, at the time this was horrifying. One of my favorite quotes is from Mark Twain: “Humor is tragedy plus time,” and that is so true. It’s amazing how time allows us to look back and laugh at ourselves.
I think I mentioned this once before, but I had a previous career working in radio. I actually worked in radio for a total of 8 years, with the first couple years in on-air jobs as a DJ. Not the kind of DJ that wears ill-fitting ties or light blue leisure suits while getting the crowd pumped up at wedding receptions. No, I was the dude on the air spinning records (CDs) and telling you what the time and temp was – even if you didn’t care.
I have plenty of stories of times I had dead air which is when one song ends and you’re not ready to play the next one so there is nothing being broadcast but “dead air” while you scramble to get the next song started. Dead air is a big time sin in radio and too much of it will get you booted out of your job. But dead air is still not the worst thing you can do as a DJ.
I worked in a few different cities with one of them being a medium sized city in out-state Minnesota. It was a classic rock station and had a pretty good reach with the signal traveling about 50 miles in all directions. One weekend my dad and a couple of his friends were at a lake cabin in our listening area for a guys outing. You know.. drinking and fishing. In that order.
About halfway through my shift I got a call from my dad saying they were out on the lake listening to our station. They requested a couple songs and hung up.
To give you a little understanding on how the equipment in a radio studio works, there are two ways to turn the microphone on and off. It has a switch that always has to be turned on to work, but there is also a sliding level that raises or lowers the level (volume) of your voice. It’s just a matter of preference how you turn the mic on and off. I would do both, usually pulling the slide all the way down which basically cut the volume on the mic completely. But sometimes hitting the button to shut it off first.
So back to my dad and his buddies. After his call, I went on and did my little radio nonsense, starting to say the next song was going out to a group of guys fishing on whatever the hell lake it was. But I stumbled over my words and ended up sounding like an idiot. I don’t remember what I said specifically but I know that I tried to make up for it with a stupid joke about getting tongue-tied but then screwed that up too! I pretty much came across like some kind of slapdick shithead. I pushed the button for the CD player, starting the next song, hit the off button on the mic and just stood there with my eyes closed. I was embarrassed and pissed. I’d made mistakes before.. playing the wrong song or having little moments of dead air but I very rarely stumbled over my words. I just didn’t do that.
So standing there with my eyes closed I simply said the word “FUCK“. But there was a problem. I heard myself say it. I was wearing headphones and shouldn’t have heard anything but the song playing. Unless the damn mic was on! I looked down, and yep it was on! I thought I had turned it off, but had missed the button somehow. I quickly shut it off and threw my headphones. I was mortified. Swearing on the air is about as bad as it gets. While sitting there wondering how many people may be listening (there were about 75,000 people in the listening area) I realized I had been recording my shift on a cassette tape as I almost always did since in radio your demo tape is what gets you your next job.
Upon listening back I was lucky the song was a loud one as you could barely hear me saying FUCK but it was faint, buried in the music. If someone wasn’t listening close they probably wouldn’t have noticed. I never heard from my boss, any listeners or co-workers so I assumed it went pretty much unnoticed. And when I talked to my dad they were loopy enough at that point that they didn’t notice either. And the word-stumbling I did? They thought it was an intentional joke – they said it was funny.. ha!
So in hindsight, kind of funny I guess. I wish I still had the tape, but back then if I didn’t think I would be using it for my demo, I recorded over it the next time I worked. And as you can imagine I was in a hurry to record over that little FUCK up.
SD
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OMG,,,SD that sounds like something I would do. My mouth usually gets me in trouble. The f-word usually slips right out there when I'm fired up and it did at a managers meeting at my last job in New England. Fortunately, my peers and my boss were really cool and laughed their asses off. I did apologize but cracked a joke to ease the embarrassment.
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@3:16 pm
You lucked out!
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@3:20 pm
It IS funny! But if that would happen to me I might have committed suicide.
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@3:20 pm
I always wanted to be a DJ. But my mom said I'd never get a job and she'd have to feed me forever and she wasn't willing to do that. Sad.
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@3:48 pm
So glad that nobody heard it and you didn't get into any trouble. I imagine they'd have been pretty pissed if listeners started calling in upset…that being said…hilarious.
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@4:23 pm
LOL… too funny.
Any more horror stories from that time of your life? Being in radio, I'd imagine you have a TON!
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@4:24 pm
That could have been your beginning to an Howard Sternesque career…lol. How about some more radio stories? I loved WKRP.
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@4:43 pm
That is some classic humor right there.
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@5:04 pm
haha, that's funny,,, I bet it really sucked at the time though!
amberlashell.com
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@5:44 pm
seriously funny (now….and stupid stuff is always funnier when it happens to someone else!)
i was thinking it would end in a firing…
when i am up in Minnesota at the cabin, we listen to the power loon!!!
and the sound of hamms beer (or shmidt) flowing…
good post SD!
Bruce
bruce johnson jadip
evilbruce
stupid stuff i see and hear
Bruce’s guy book
the guy book
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@6:20 pm
Oh I get those embarrassing moments… I write for a small newspaper and just this past fall, I wasn't quite sure which week of the month my article was going to be published. So I wrote this one called the Tale of the Blue Hairs and the all you can eat buffet. Basically insulting all elderly people on how they go from being decrepit to full out athletic sprints when the cow bell is rung for food… it was a funny article, but wouldn't you know it, they published it in the special edition of the Memorial/Veteran's Day paper. So when we should be honouring all our elders for what they have done for us, I went an insulted them instead. Yup, I kept waiting for a uprise of letters to the editors asking for my resignation… the joys of mistakes!
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@6:56 pm
Something similar happened here, but the audience heard it (I know I did. When 'fuck' is said, my ears automatically perk up). The DJ didn't lose his job, though he did gain an extra fan that day.
Posted on: Dec/27/2010@10:51 pm
that's awesome, fuck is such a fun word too.
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@12:31 am
I love it when things like that happen, when you think you're fucked but then it turns out it wasn't so bad!
Yeah the station that I like to listen to had a bunch of technical difficulty for a while so there was some dead air space. Not too bad though. I just wish they would take Ryan Seacrest off the fucking air, I hate hearing him.
http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@12:59 am
We've all done something like that, just not so publicly.
– OMS
http://soapboxvirtual.blogspot.com/
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@1:33 am
Ah, we all have our little fuckups. At least you didn't call your boss a wanker on-air or let a major fart rip : )
http://rantersbox.blogspot.com
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@3:39 am
Fuck ups can be grand… have I ever mentioned I once audition for a radio gig in Canada and when they suddenly said "ok ad lib for the next 5 minutes" I ended up talking about poop… Guess what job I never got?
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@4:00 am
i have had numerous fuck ups in my life… fortunately none of them were on air. Hilarious stuff would love to hear more stories from your radio jobs
http://jax9126.blogspot.com
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@5:24 am
Okay that is a truly great story, sounds like somethign I would do though probably with waaay uglier consequences!
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@3:25 pm
HAHAHA. I could almost feel your embarrassment while reading.
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@3:51 pm
Hahahhaahahah That's funnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@4:24 pm
Lucky you!
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@6:42 pm
Great story!
The DJ's here just get big fines if they swear on air; half of em' decide it will be worth it and do it just to make a point! The morning crews will actually joke about getting suspensions for 'fuck-ups' as it were.
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@7:15 pm
That is funny!
Reminds me of a college radio show some friends and I did where we got all freaked out because one of us said the word "orgasm" then in the process of discussing whether or not we were allowed to say it ended up saying it about ten more times (we were on a mennonite campus – private college). It was funny.
Posted on: Dec/28/2010@10:47 pm
Probably before you were born, but I was on KQUE in Houston in the 60's. Halfway through a weather forecast, I knew I had to burp. No problem, right? Just try for a spot where a pause would be natural, hit the mike switch, and do it.
Well, I hit the wrong switch and from about two inches away I released the Krakatoa of all belches.
I had calls wanting to know if we'd been struck by lightning, and several reports of blown Hi-Fi speakers.
Posted on: Jan/1/2011@4:27 pm
I'm surprised that some guy who molests his own daughter and beats his wife didn't complain that your fowl language was corrupting his children. The pure ones always have interesting lives behind closed doors.
Posted on: Jan/2/2011@2:50 pm
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Posted on: Jan/3/2011@7:35 am
FUNNY! But i still think it was better than this: http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thecutline/20110215/ts_yblog_thecutline/reporters-bizarre-on-air-episode-raises-questions
Posted on: Feb/16/2011@6:54 pm
Ohh this is great! I've heard dead air before and wondered what was going on at that station.. Thanks for sharing this!!
Posted on: Mar/6/2011@8:23 pm