Yeah, I used my day off from work to poison my body with another crappy McRib. So what?!?! At least I am not sharing any photos with you this time. Yes it was good. Too good actually, because it encourages me to do it again next Monday (another day off) if my will power escapes me again. A while back I posted about all my favorite things to eat
that only come out at certain times of the year, but I forgot to mention one of my favorites: egg nog. I have never tried to make it myself as some folks do, I’m happy with the stuff you buy in the store. Yes, I feel myself getting fatter every time I drink it.. but it’s So.. Damn.. Good. Last night the Lady Friend had a brilliant idea. Vanilla ice cream + egg nog + ice + rum in a blender. Lets just say I was feelin’ the holiday spirit big time.
Stay tuned Simpletons.. I’ll have a guest post later this week from Smart Ass Sara
. I’m excited to see what she’ll have to say… she’s one wild chick and she tells it like it is.
I don’t have a lot more to say today, so just going to throw out some random observations I had today while NOT working:
Have you ever farted in the shower? You know, when the water is running over you? Makes a hilarious sound that I can’t even begin to describe. I am sure farting in the bathtub has a similar comedic result, but I haven’t taken a bath since I was like 9 years old. I have farted in hot tubs, but those are noisy so you can’t really hear much. It’s actually nice because you can easily fart in a hot tub without anyone knowing. But the shower thing is unique and I recommend giving it a shot. That being said I guarantee the next time you’re in the shower you’ll be thinking about this.
Most people are liars. Lousy, stinking liars. How do I know? LOL. No, I am not laughing out loud. That is my reasoning. Of all the people who type LOL, what do you think the percentage is that are actually Laughing Out Loud. I mean, maybe a smile or even a light chuckle. But Laughing Out Loud?? I believe it’s roughly 11%. So that means 89% of the time people are bullshitting you. And you see it all the time. Text messages, Facebook, Twitter, emails, websites, blogs. Hell I’ve even seen it in print media. IN PRINT. I don’t think people are going to stop using LOL because of this rant. I don’t even think they will use it less. That’s fine. I just wanted to be sure you know that they are all fucking liars.
As I mentioned, I didn’t have to work today. Fortunately I didn’t have time to watch much crappy daytime TV (or bad 70′s porn as mentioned in my previous post) since I gave myself a nice long to do list. It was awesome – I was very productive. But I did watch Regis & Kelly or whatever it’s called. Regis is cool, I can’t fault him. He’s Mr. TV as far as I’m concerned. Joel McHale was on and I really dig him, both on Community and The Soup. Unfortunately there was something called Nicki Manaj on the show too. She sang/rapped a song that is supposedly a hit, which makes me pissed off. It was terrible. She neither sang nor rapped it, and she has the stage presence of a wet shoe. At the end of her segment (the remote control was across the room so yes I was forced to watch the whole thing) I became saddened by the thought that poor old Regis at his advanced age, was forced to spend 5 minutes of his life watching this shit. Old people deserve better.
Lastly just a quick note about Leslie Nielsen. Airplane! was the favorite movie of a very young Simple Dude and his friends in the early 80s. We would watch it over and over, memorizing the lines. And his Naked Gun movies were great too. The humor was simple and straight forward, but that’s what you expected. Unlike movies today where you really don’t know WHAT to expect. To this day there is an old friend of mine with whom I occasionally exchange text message movie quotes from his movies.
R.I.P. Leslie.. and please, don’t call me Shirley.