Nov
29
McRib Monday Part 2
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 29-11-2010
Yeah, I used my day off from work to poison my body with another crappy McRib. So what?!?! At least I am not sharing any photos with you this time. Yes it was good. Too good actually, because it encourages me to do it again next Monday (another day off) if my will power escapes me again. A while back I posted about all my favorite things to eat that only come out at certain times of the year, but I forgot to mention one of my favorites: egg nog. I have never tried to make it myself as some folks do, I’m happy with the stuff you buy in the store. Yes, I feel myself getting fatter every time I drink it.. but it’s So.. Damn.. Good. Last night the Lady Friend had a brilliant idea. Vanilla ice cream + egg nog + ice + rum in a blender. Lets just say I was feelin’ the holiday spirit big time.
Stay tuned Simpletons.. I’ll have a guest post later this week from Smart Ass Sara. I’m excited to see what she’ll have to say… she’s one wild chick and she tells it like it is.
I don’t have a lot more to say today, so just going to throw out some random observations I had today while NOT working:
Have you ever farted in the shower? You know, when the water is running over you? Makes a hilarious sound that I can’t even begin to describe. I am sure farting in the bathtub has a similar comedic result, but I haven’t taken a bath since I was like 9 years old. I have farted in hot tubs, but those are noisy so you can’t really hear much. It’s actually nice because you can easily fart in a hot tub without anyone knowing. But the shower thing is unique and I recommend giving it a shot. That being said I guarantee the next time you’re in the shower you’ll be thinking about this.
Most people are liars. Lousy, stinking liars. How do I know? LOL. No, I am not laughing out loud. That is my reasoning. Of all the people who type LOL, what do you think the percentage is that are actually Laughing Out Loud. I mean, maybe a smile or even a light chuckle. But Laughing Out Loud?? I believe it’s roughly 11%. So that means 89% of the time people are bullshitting you. And you see it all the time. Text messages, Facebook, Twitter, emails, websites, blogs. Hell I’ve even seen it in print media. IN PRINT. I don’t think people are going to stop using LOL because of this rant. I don’t even think they will use it less. That’s fine. I just wanted to be sure you know that they are all fucking liars.
As I mentioned, I didn’t have to work today. Fortunately I didn’t have time to watch much crappy daytime TV (or bad 70′s porn as mentioned in my previous post) since I gave myself a nice long to do list. It was awesome – I was very productive. But I did watch Regis & Kelly or whatever it’s called. Regis is cool, I can’t fault him. He’s Mr. TV as far as I’m concerned. Joel McHale was on and I really dig him, both on Community and The Soup. Unfortunately there was something called Nicki Manaj on the show too. She sang/rapped a song that is supposedly a hit, which makes me pissed off. It was terrible. She neither sang nor rapped it, and she has the stage presence of a wet shoe. At the end of her segment (the remote control was across the room so yes I was forced to watch the whole thing) I became saddened by the thought that poor old Regis at his advanced age, was forced to spend 5 minutes of his life watching this shit. Old people deserve better.
Lastly just a quick note about Leslie Nielsen. Airplane! was the favorite movie of a very young Simple Dude and his friends in the early 80s. We would watch it over and over, memorizing the lines. And his Naked Gun movies were great too. The humor was simple and straight forward, but that’s what you expected. Unlike movies today where you really don’t know WHAT to expect. To this day there is an old friend of mine with whom I occasionally exchange text message movie quotes from his movies.
R.I.P. Leslie.. and please, don’t call me Shirley.
SD
This not working on Mondays sucks! -for me, for you it rocks! lol (yes I really did laugh out loud) I still haven't tried the McRib, but I'm craving a quarter pounder with cheese -THANKS! I was saddened to hear about Leslie Nielson's death, my brothers and sister and I used to watch Airplane over and over and over again! We can probably still recite the entire script! Carry on!
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@12:33 am
"Nice Beaver"
And I agree with the McRib again. I had one of Saturday due to not having any Thanksgiving leftovers.
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@12:53 am
Glad you had a productive day. Nice touch on the memorial to Leslie Nielson. He was one in a million.
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@12:57 am
Glad you had a productive day…even if it included a McRib. I was so sad to learn about Leslie…I loved him in Airplane and the Naked Gun films.
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@1:04 am
Yes I have noticed that lol looks like a drowning person. Yay that you were productive. I have homework to do and get ahead on so I can have a worry free weekend and do holiday parades and parties and hopefully see someone on Sunday.
http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@2:15 am
I'm just gonna throw this out there…farting in the bathtub is freakin hilarious! Especially if you're female and the bubbles go up the front on their way out!
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@2:32 am
What a major list of accomplishments. I mean from shower farting, to watching shitty daytime tv, to scarfing down some McRibs, you are THE MAN Simple Dude! … By comparison, I however feel like a total lazy arse!
That eggnog icecream booze fueled concoction sounds like total deliciousness. Thanks for the recipe!
http://rantersbox.blogspot.com
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@2:34 am
I've never really liked egg nog, but I will only drink it with some rum in it. Okay, a lot of rum.
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@2:43 am
I'm trying to remember which movie, Leslie Nielsen took that immense piss while wearing his cordless mic. And he cut that raunchy fart and started singing. The entire ballroom could hear.
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@2:49 am
Re: egg nog and the McRib. I'm guessing someone didn't breastfeed you when you were a baby. I'm right, aren't I?
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@3:23 am
@Oilfield: "thanks, I just had it stuffed."
@vickilikesfrogs: I sure like the way you think.
@Empress: You will NOT regret learning that recipe. If you don't like egg nog, just add more booze!
@Fred: Pretty sure that was one of the Naked Gun movies. They run together a little bit, but they were all classic.
@dbs: I have chosen to do my breast appreciation as an adult, thanks for checking.
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@3:34 am
@ dbs…… oh my gawd that is too funny!!! so I am just going to say "LOL" and yes, I did laugh out loud at dbs' comment!
PS… SD thanks for being my pimp this week, i had mucho traffic from your blog… so big mushy kisses to you my friend!
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@3:35 am
I think 11% is pretty liberal. I would guess more like, 5%.
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@4:13 am
SD, you sound like you have way too much time on your hands. And maybe mcRib sauce. I was going to say what vickilikesfrogs said about bathtub farting (it tickles if you do it right). Anyway, when are you going to come guest for me. I need a day off too (not that I can get mcRibs or eggnog or Regis whoever that is)
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@10:44 am
*sniff*
Leslie Nielson always made me laugh. Now that he is gone, I am sad.
I am going to watch all the Naked Guns this weekend to cheer me back up.
"Nice beaver"
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@1:57 pm
I've never typed lol in my life.
Because I never laugh.
Ever.
I kid. About the not-laughing part, not about the loling part, because that phrase should be banned from the internet lexicon.
AND STOP TEMPTING ME TO TRY THE MCRIB ALREADY!
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@2:14 pm
I don't think I will ever try the McRib…I value life and my arteries LOL (I just lied there, I didn't actually Laugh Out Loud)
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@3:31 pm
i don't think i've ever farted in the shower. i do pee in the shower though. it doesn't really make much of a sound.
Posted on: Dec/1/2010@2:03 am
I just came across your blog about a week ago and totally dig it.
Actually, I hated egg nog as a kid (yes, I'd get a sip now and then) but now it's one of those things I can have like one (or maybe three). After that, it's quits.
I mean, who the hell thought of brandy, milk, eggs and nutmeg IN THE SAME FREAKIN' BOWL? And who gets tanked on this stuff? Are they ASKING for creamy vomit? Ha!
Posted on: Dec/1/2010@5:11 am
First of all, I love Vicki, Mynx, & Jess's comments. I LOL'ed FOR REAL.
Okay, I didn't, I smiled and laughed inside my head. So you have made your point, SD, but I feel like a douchebag if I type "haha" or "hehe" or "just kidding around, ya know". And I'm still not sure of emoticon etiquette.
Shit, now I am all distracted. I am going to write a post about it. So thanks for making me question mu douchiness online socially and blogfully.
sulks away back to her own blog to discuss matter further while feel self conscious…
Posted on: Dec/1/2010@10:27 pm