Time for another Half Ass Weekend post. I survived the mall on Friday, although it was a huge pain in the ass. We didn’t go until around noon thinking we’d miss a lot of the door buster traffic. I don’t know if we were delusional or if every asshole in town had the same idea but the mall was still a zoo. It took us 20+ minutes to find a place to park, it seemed the percentage of mall ‘arrivers’ to mall ‘leavers’ was NOT in our favor.
Once we got into the mall the lines were ridiculous so we picked up a couple things, but mostly browsed, grabbed a Starbucks and then had lunch. But when we first got into the mall we saw this giant kids train sitting there waiting to pick up passengers. At first I wasn’t sure what the hell it was for, the mall was a little crowded so I couldn’t imagine it getting too far. As you can probably tell it had four cars it pulled that would each seat 2 – 3 people. The thing was like 30 feet long. No my lady friend would NOT let me ride it.. who does she think she is??
A little later I hear a loud train whistle behind us and turn around to see the thing plowing through the mall at about 20 mph. The son of the bitch driving just kept laying on the whistle to get people to move out of the way. If someone was deaf, slow or just too stubborn to move he would have had to slam on the brakes (throwing all the kids face first into the front of their respective cars) just to avoid hitting someone. I didn’t get a photo of him racing by because he literally was gone before I could get out my phone to take a pic. Are you kidding me? On the busiest shopping day of the year? That was a friggin’ lawsuit waiting to happen.
All in all it wasn’t too miserable and we were out of there in about 2 hours. I won’t actually start any of my Christmas shopping for 3 weeks or so, I mean come one, guys don’t Christmas shop in November. That’s foolishness.
With the holiday and being busy at work I’ve completely spaced out some well deserved thanks for another blog award I recently received.
This is a totally original award created and given by Jumble Mash
. Which means I am among the very first people to get it! Thanks much! So this means my blog is funny? It’s meant to be a deeply personal, serious introspective of my life and you find it funny!??!? hmmph. I’m supposed to pass this along, which I’ll try to get to this week.
I hope all my Simpletons are having a good long weekend! Mine is especially long, I have Monday off. What am I going to do on my big extra day off? I plan to sleep, eat, sleep, watch bad 70′s porn, sleep and maybe write a blog about Christmas tree ornaments. Or just watch more porn.