Nov
27
Half Ass Weekend
Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 27-11-2010
Time for another Half Ass Weekend post. I survived the mall on Friday, although it was a huge pain in the ass. We didn’t go until around noon thinking we’d miss a lot of the door buster traffic. I don’t know if we were delusional or if every asshole in town had the same idea but the mall was still a zoo. It took us 20+ minutes to find a place to park, it seemed the percentage of mall ‘arrivers’ to mall ‘leavers’ was NOT in our favor.
Once we got into the mall the lines were ridiculous so we picked up a couple things, but mostly browsed, grabbed a Starbucks and then had lunch. But when we first got into the mall we saw this giant kids train sitting there waiting to pick up passengers. At first I wasn’t sure what the hell it was for, the mall was a little crowded so I couldn’t imagine it getting too far. As you can probably tell it had four cars it pulled that would each seat 2 – 3 people. The thing was like 30 feet long. No my lady friend would NOT let me ride it.. who does she think she is??
A little later I hear a loud train whistle behind us and turn around to see the thing plowing through the mall at about 20 mph. The son of the bitch driving just kept laying on the whistle to get people to move out of the way. If someone was deaf, slow or just too stubborn to move he would have had to slam on the brakes (throwing all the kids face first into the front of their respective cars) just to avoid hitting someone. I didn’t get a photo of him racing by because he literally was gone before I could get out my phone to take a pic. Are you kidding me? On the busiest shopping day of the year? That was a friggin’ lawsuit waiting to happen.
All in all it wasn’t too miserable and we were out of there in about 2 hours. I won’t actually start any of my Christmas shopping for 3 weeks or so, I mean come one, guys don’t Christmas shop in November. That’s foolishness.
With the holiday and being busy at work I’ve completely spaced out some well deserved thanks for another blog award I recently received.
This is a totally original award created and given by Jumble Mash. Which means I am among the very first people to get it! Thanks much! So this means my blog is funny? It’s meant to be a deeply personal, serious introspective of my life and you find it funny!??!? hmmph. I’m supposed to pass this along, which I’ll try to get to this week.
I hope all my Simpletons are having a good long weekend! Mine is especially long, I have Monday off. What am I going to do on my big extra day off? I plan to sleep, eat, sleep, watch bad 70′s porn, sleep and maybe write a blog about Christmas tree ornaments. Or just watch more porn.
SD
Congrats on the award.
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@12:16 am
Hey..another award. Awesome. Now..where the heck have you been? No visits to Cinderitaville? bah humbug
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@12:26 am
what the heck? Why on earth it says my name is "R" I have no idea.
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@12:28 am
yeah what OFT said…
and some bloglove on my weekend post…
i vote for porn…always vote for porn..
Simpleton Bruce
bruce johnson jadip
and
stupid stuff i see and hear
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@12:29 am
I VOTE TO WATCH PORN! What she wouldn't let you ride the train how crazy! Yes any smart person would wait till at least December to shop for Christmas, right? Thats what I keep telling myself! Have a great extra day off!
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@12:31 am
SD…you are brave to even attempt to get into the mall parking lot! I avoid at all costs. You havd a fun day Monday!!! lol. Watching porn totally rocks, even when you're 50!!! I love it.
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@12:37 am
Yes. Porn.
Boo to mall shopping, especially on Black Friday. I myself chose to celebrate buy nothing day.
Okay I bought coffee, so I lied. Happy Thanksgiving.
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@12:48 am
Ok you got a mention over at my place as I stole your idea for a half assed post.
I would have ridden the train anyway. Love trains lol
Congrats on the awards too. well deserved
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@1:15 am
Another vote for porn on Monday. It beats the hell out of re-runs on daytime tv.
Oh, and you should have totally hijacked a ride on that train. After the inevitable and impending lawsuit, that thing definitely won't be back next year.
http://rantersbox.blogspot.com
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@1:49 am
Congrats on the awards, and for surviving the mall… you're a brave soul.
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@3:24 am
You can't really go wrong with porn in general…but 70's porn? Crazy mustaches and huge bush…I'll pass. If that is your thing though…dude, go for it!
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@6:24 am
That train is INSANE! I would never brave the mall on black friday!
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@2:07 pm
I'd go with the porn, LOL… congrats on the award!
check out my blog @ amberlashell.com
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@2:22 pm
Congrats on the award. Sounds like it would have been a fun train ride!
CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@4:39 pm
A train in a mall? Yeah. That sounds like the best idea ever. Idiots.
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@6:14 pm
What?? No train ride? so unfair. There is no amount of money in the world that would get me out of my house on Black Friday. I get irritated on a regular weekend trip to the mall..I would go postal going on Black Friday..
I saw a Comic the other day who said "I watch so much porn, my screen saver is a Janitor with a mop"..you may want to consider changing your screen saver.
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@6:18 pm
I made it. Officially am following now. a
Posted on: Nov/28/2010@9:15 pm
I totally want to drive that train while screaming, "All aboard the Crazy Train" and blasting some Ozzy. You think the train has a CD player?
Now, regarding your dilemma about writing a blog about Christmas tree ornaments vs. watching more porn: Why don't you write a blog about Christmas porn? There's not near enough Christmas porn out there, and it's just a damn shame. Think of the possibilities! Elves, flying animals, toys, and the North "Pole."
Love you blog, and following you now. Come check me out (in a totally platonic way, of course.)
Posted on: Nov/29/2010@12:56 am
Sorry, should say "your blog." I'm doped up on turkey.
Posted on: Nov/29/2010@12:59 am
We didn't go shopping until noonish and it was pretty chaotic…and what a coinkydink! We had Starbucks too
Congrats on your award and who says 70's porn is bad?
Posted on: Nov/29/2010@3:54 am
Watch porn while you write about phallic ornaments. Too Freudian? Alright. Porn it is then.
Posted on: Nov/29/2010@1:59 pm
Congrats on your award. And I can't believe your Lady Friend wouldn't let you ride on the train. That's horrifically tragic.
http://a-redhead-named-sam.blogspot.com
Posted on: Nov/29/2010@2:28 pm
You should get an award for going to the mall on Friday.. either that or committed!! But congrats for surviving and for the real award!!
Posted on: Nov/29/2010@4:25 pm
Congrats on the award!
I so would've gotten on that train, sounds like a blast… although come to think of it, I think my boyfriend who've probably not let me
Posted on: Nov/29/2010@9:34 pm
Thanks for reminding me of the Christmas shopping that I have to do.
Glad that you survived Black Friday. I was inside doing homework all day so I successfully hid.
http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@12:10 am
Dammit, I'm late. I would have voted for porn on Monday, too.
And yes, your blog is very funny. I find your deep personal issues and addiction to McRibs hilarious. Am I a terrible person?
Posted on: Nov/30/2010@4:07 pm