Reunited And It Feels So Good**

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 28-09-2010

Last weekend I had my high school reunion. I wont get into how old I am or how many years… but just say it wasn’t our first reunion (and we didn’t have a 5 year) so you do the friggin’ math. I thought it would be an interesting experience, but really nothing all that special. Of course I thought it would make for some good material for this blog too… seeing the prom queen all bloated and saggy… the star quarterback bloated and bald. There is nothing quite like laughing at the misfortune of others.
But that didn’t happen. People generally looked pretty good, all things considered. Sure there were stories of divorce, some job loss and struggles to pay the bills, keep a roof over their heads and raise kids in this tough economy. But no outrageous stories… no one in jail, no one jumping off bridges, no gender benders. What the fuck?! Are we that common? I wanted some crazy shit! Some liquor stores getting robbed, some meth labs exploding, some “Big Love” style bigamy, some plastic surgeries gone bad. But no.. none of that.

We didn’t have a very big class for a city school, there was only about 150 of us. But still you’d think there would be something worthy of serious gossip. Uh uh. Unless there was a shit load of lying going on (very possible) everyone “grew up” to be pretty normal, responsible adults. And most of the cliques that existed back in ‘da day had all dissolved. The super stud was chatting with the nerdy girl. And the hot easy girl was talking up the math team geek. The whole “cats & dogs living together” thing. If you don’t get that reference, watch Ghostbusters dammit.

Sure some of the people I considered attractive in those days had become.. uhh.. less attractive. And others were obviously late bloomers. But in terms of attitude, there really wasn’t any. It was as if getting out into the real world humbled everyone. Life became the great equalizer, putting everyone on a much more even playing field. Personally I had good enjoyable conversations with people I didn’t give a fat flying fuck about just hours earlier.

I guess the moral of this story is if you’re debating going to a reunion, go ahead and give it a shot. Best case scenario you have a good experience as I did. Worst case scenario it’s not so fun and you’ll wish you would have stayed home watching reruns of Knight Rider in your underwear. Which is what I am going to do tonight.

Check me out on Twitter bitches… @SimpleDude17.

**Reunited And It’s Understood.  (completely stole that idea from Kristine at Wait in the Van)

My Mom Always Said I Was A Winner

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 25-09-2010

I won something! The Empress at The Ranter’s Box found my blog worthy enough to give a Bloody Brilliant Blog award. Or maybe she was throwing darts at a Blogger board and I got lucky. Either way it is my first award and I am very honored! She awarded some other great sites too, so check out her blog post if you want some more reading material. 

I have seen a lot of posts from people who won awards from other bloggers and they are generally grateful, honored and humbled. Sometimes they pretend they won an Oscar and give a little speech. This is all good, but not really my style. I’m more of a “I fucking deserved this” smart-ass kind of Dude so lets try a different approach.

It’s about time I got something like this. I am better than most of the fly by night bloggers out there… and no, the fact that my blog is less than 2 months old does NOT qualify it as fly by night. At least not yet. I have been waiting for this award for the last 42 days, give or take an hour. It’s kind of bullshit that I had to wait so long, since patience is no virtue of mine. But now that I have it….  guess what?  YOU DON’T. Ha Ha, SUCK IT you silly little Empress Award-less Bloggers! Maybe someday you’ll be able to sit at the same table as me but until then just stay there and cry in your Franken Berries (or Boo Berries if you prefer) while I eat poached eggs with a diamond studded fork.

(end smart ass tone)

Big night for the Simple Dude. It’s my High School reunion… and it’s making me feel fucking old. It will be fun, but i’ll probably get a little loopy and start bragging about my Bloody Brilliant Blog award at which point I’ll get those “He’s gone shit-ass crazy” looks and I’ll end up sitting in a corner mumbling about the Morons next door. 

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SALE Away With Me !!

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 24-09-2010

I just want to give an update on the whole yard sale thing. For those unfamiliar, check out my last post.. and all the subsequent comments. You all offered amazing advice and I hate to say it but I am going to go against many of your warnings. I am going to have a sale. Bad idea? Shit yeah.. I am going to have to deal with a bunch of idiots pouring over my stuff, making low offers and generally pissing me off.  

I had decided it was not a good idea and was leaning towards donating stuff, throwing away stuff, giving stuff to friends or having a giant bonfire in the middle of the fucking street. But ultimately I decided that I might as well try to get SOMETHING for all this stuff, even if it’s just a few hundred bucks. And more importantly it’ll provide some good material for another blog post next week. My goal is to keep my HTC Evo handy to snap some candid photos of the goofballs that stop by, so if all goes well I’ll get some photographic proof that I pulled this thing off and lived to bitch about it. It’s going to happen the weekend of October 1st. 

A couple posts back I included a photo I took of a taxi I saw that had whiskey plates. I still cannot explain how a taxi is still on the street schlepping people around after the driver has had multiple DUIs but there he was. I will be taking a peek at at the plates of any cab I get into from now on. Ironically the other night while at a bar I saw this poster for a local singing group:

So at least you know I wasn’t making up the whole whiskey plates thing… it does seem fitting that it’s a country music group that has named themselves the Whiskey Plates. But before you get all pissy with me, no not all country music fans are drunks.  It just seems that most drunks are country music fans… hmmmm… 
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Don’t make me beg.