So Long Simple Dude?

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Blogging, Writing | Posted on 07-22-2013

I’m now about 7 weeks into married life and we’re still together.  No big fights or arguments.  Not that we ever fought before either… it’s kind of nice to be with someone you enjoy spending time with.  What the hell was I doing the first 35 years of my life?

I mentioned in the last post that some changes are coming here.  I am not sure when this will all happen, but my plan is to abandon THE SIMPLE DUDE persona.  It’s a tough decision as it’s become sort of a “brand” for me, but to be honest I haven’t been doing much here lately anyway.

I’d have no problem with someone feeling this way about me.. as long as they were giving me a cake.

The idea I have is to take the website I built around my book 101 Things To Do Before The Apocalypse and tweak that to feature my writing.  Which of course means I’ll have to actually WRITE.  I’ve been working on a collection of short stories for some time and am nowhere near being done.  Ideally I’d like to have 8 – 10 stories to publish in an e-book.  I have some done and some partially written but lets just say I’ve got plenty of work ahead of me.  Life keeps getting in the way.  Oh, and my job too.  Friggin’ job.

Why the hell can’t I just win the lottery and write full time?  Ok, I probably wouldn’t write FULL time.  I’d have to make time to drink.  Maybe I’d write drunk?  Speaking of being drunk, has anyone seen the new show DRUNK HISTORY on Comedy Central?  It’s brilliant, especially if you have a SIMPLE mind like I do.

Anyway… I don’t know when this will all take place, but most likely end of summer or early fall.  Who knows.  I’ll forward traffic from this THESIMPLEDUDE.COM url over to the other site, but much of this site’s content will be gone…  like a fart in the wind.

I’ll also change my Twitter handle and Facebook page at some point, since I’ll be using my real name.  My name is Jon by the way.  And if you didn’t know that, shame on you… it means you haven’t bought my book!  Damn you!

What does this mean?  Frankly… not much.  I won’t be posting blog updates as often as I used to.  Hopefully more than I have been the last few months though…  like that would be hard.  A blind monkey could be a more prolific blogger than what I’ve done lately.

When it all goes down I’ll give all you kids a heads up.  And I will probably post here occasionally in the meantime.  Until then, just rock out with your…  dock out.  You know… like in a lake.

SD (for now)


It Was A SIMPLE Wedding

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Blogging, House, Lady Friend, Vacation | Posted on 07-08-2013

It’s been awhile.  I didn’t even realize just how long it had been since my last post until I logged in to start writing this one.   It’s been a busy six weeks for me.  No I haven’t been in jail, on the run from the law or kidnapped by pirates and taken to a sweat shop on a tropical island, forced to make eye patches and wooden legs.  Though in a sick way that sounds kind of fun.

As you probably guessed based on my posts over the last few months I am now married.  The Simple Dude is no longer a Single Dude.  I guess that makes me a little less Simple these days.

The Lady Friend and I tied the knot on June 1st in a quick little ceremony.  Then we went up north to a kick ass little resort along the north shore of Lake Superior for a few days, just to get away.  We’ll plan to do an true honeymoon this winter.  You know, someplace warm – away from the cold bitter hell that is a Minnesota winter.

Here are a couple pics I took that week “up north” as the kids around here like to say:

Split Rock Lighthouse

Split Rock Lighthouse

North Shore of Lake Superior

North Shore of Lake Superior

It was a beautiful week up there.  I’ve never been to the Pacific Northwest part of the U.S. but have always thought that the north shore of Superior is probably similar.  The Lady Friend (or The Wifey??) and I are big into hiking and those pics were taken along a couple of our hikes.  Then at night we’d crack open a bottle or two of wine and sit out on the deck right above the lake, listening to the waves crash while we got loopy!

If I had known getting married would be this relaxing I might have tried it before!

A few weeks after the wedding we had a big party at our house.  We just moved into this place last summer so this served as both a reception and sort of a house warming party since a lot of friends and extended family had not seen our place yet.  That was a little stressful as we had more than 80 people come throughout the day.  But it was a good time.

Oh and we got some cool free shit and took in a bunch of cash.  Damn I love presents.

That pretty much gets you all caught up on my life.  Marriage has been pretty cool, though to be honest we have been living together for nearly 3 years now so being married hasn’t changed much.  Though I do have this annoying ring om my finger that I am just now finally getting used to five weeks later.  I’ve never been a jewelry kind of dude but I’m coming around.

AS FOR THIS BLOG…  there will be some major changes.  I am not completely abandoning it, but will be changing things up in the coming months.  I’ll tell you more about that in my next post, hopefully within a week or so.  The changes will help me to write more offline yet still stay in touch with you peeps.

Stay tuned…



I Am A Big Blogging Loser

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Blogging | Posted on 05-21-2013

I am a big fat blogging loser.  A big fat NHL fan blogging loser.  Some time ago a bet was initiated via Twitter with a couple fellow bloggers Sean, aka Blue Note Backer and Jewels from According To Jewels.  Like me, they are both huge hockey fans.  Sean is a big fan of the St. Louis Blues and Jewels loves her Philadelphia Flyers.

This bet involved their favorite teams against mine, the Minnesota Wild.  The rules were simple… the person whose team advanced the furthest this season wins something special and unique from the cities of the two losers.

I won’t bore you with how it happened, but Sean and his Blues came out on top.  And I am a loser.  Along with Jewels of course.  There is something nice about sharing in the losing…  thanks Jewels!

That left the question of what to send Sean.  Lots of things are unique to Minnesota.  Spam, Bundt cakes, Scotch Tape, Post-It Notes, Wheaties, Tonka Trucks, Roller Blades, snowmobiles and indoor malls were all invented in Minnesota.  But I can’t send Sean a can of Spam.  If someone mailed me a can of spam I’d poop on it and mail it back.  Ok, that’s an exaggeration… I wouldn’t mail it back.

At first I thought of the gift of movies.  Two movies are often associated with us here in Minnesota.  Fargo and Purple RainFargo is the movie with the over the top Minnesotan accents written and directed by the Coen brothers who are from the Twin Cities.  Purple Rain is the movie filmed all around Minneapolis with that little purple dude Prince.  He grew up just a mile or two from where I did.

But the problem is you can’t find Fargo or Purple Rain in any store.  I tried a couple places and they just don’t carry older movies these days.  So I gave up on those options and instead went with some authentic Minnesotan wild rice.  It’s used in lots of food dishes here in the Upper Midwest and was first grown by Indian tribes in Minnesota like…  I don’t know…  500 years ago or something  What the hell am I, a historian?  Oh, and chicken wild rice soup is absolutely amazing.

NHL Blogger bet

On top of that I am throwing in a book called “The Code” which is written by a Minnesotan author.  It’s all about the history of fighting in the NHL and how the players all have a code by which they play… and fight.  It’s a good book and with Sean being a hockey fan I am hoping he will like it.

Lastly I am including a Minnesota Twins keychain since one of my earliest happy sports memories was of my Twins beating Sean’s Cardinals in the 1987 World Series.  Take that.

Enjoy the spoils of victory Sean… you’ve earned them.


P.S.  My Lady Friend and I are getting married in less than 2 weeks and my bachelor party is this weekend.  YIKES!!

The Countdown Is On

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Lady Friend, marriage | Posted on 05-15-2013

The Lady Friend and I are getting married in about 2 1/2 weeks and my bachelor party is next weekend.  Scary!


I wrote one last article at The Indie Chicks website about our wedding plans and the small reception we’re having at our house.  The tough part was deciding who does and doesn’t get to come over and eat and drink on me.  I plan on getting lots of people drunk.  I don’t offer that kind of service every day!

Click on over and read all about it…  and in the next few days I’ll have a post about the NHL Blogger Bet that has now concluded.


Here is a hint…  it didn’t have a happy ending for your Simple Dude.


Wedding Planning Fun

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in marriage | Posted on 04-26-2013

I know I have been neglecting this blog a bit lately, but I did write another article for my friends over at The Indie Chicks.  It’s the second in a three part series about the planning of my wedding coming up now in just over a month.


I’d love for you to click over and read the article.  For starters, it’s funny.  Or so I think.  But also because The Indie Chicks is a great website that has a lot of other great articles to offer for both chicks and dudes alike.

I’ll be back here with a post next week – I promise.  Just don’t hold me to that.



My Urinal Pet PEEve

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Stupid People | Posted on 04-18-2013

One thing that has always bugged me… people who drop their gum in a urinal.  For starters it’s stupid.  What kind of dude steps up to the urinal, unzips and suddenly decides to rid himself of his gum?

“Man, this gum sucks.  It’s got to go.  Not, not when I get to the garbage can. It’s go to go NOW dammit!”

Ladies, you don’t really know much about this phenomenon.  Unless you are one of those urinal-peeing ladies I’m always hearing about.  But on occasion you’ll step up to tinkle and see a piece of gum just sitting there waiting for it’s golden shower.  The gum won’t go down when flushed due to the rubber liner / pee target, so when you hit the handle all it does is bounce around in a yellow circle.

But what really gets me about this is that the offending chewer is not thinking at all about how that gum is going to get OUT of the urinal.  Is it going to sprout legs and hop out?  Nope.  As disgusting as it may be, some poor sap is going to have to reach in and take it out.

Granted this person is someone who actually cleans bathrooms for a living, but there is a difference between rubbing a cleaning brush around in a toilet bowl and having to reach into a urinal to fish out gum…  gloves or no gloves, it’s gross.

If you are the kind of dude who spits his gum into a urinal you must be saying people who clean public bathrooms have life a little too easy.  Their lives are just too damn good.  You need to knock them down a peg or two.  Kick them down off their high horse right?

Come on.

If you have done this in the past for whatever reason, please stop.  Think of the poor bastard you are forcing to get all pissy-handsy just because you are an asshole.

Public bathroom cleaners everywhere will thank you for not being one.


Wedded Bliss Here I Come

Posted by Simple Dude | Posted in Lady Friend, Uncategorized | Posted on 04-04-2013

If you have never been to The Indie Chicks website you are missing out.  Don’t let the name fool you either, it’s not just about Chicks or just for Chicks.  I myself have spent plenty of time reading articlesthere and I am not a chick.  Not even close.  I have also written a few articles over there myself promoting my book.  You’ve read that right?  No?  Come one, it’s hilarious!

As you may or may not know… the Lady Friend and I are getting married this summer.  And coincidentally The Indie Chicks recently asked if I would be willing to write a few more articles for them.  So I decided, what better topic to write about then the end of my life!  My single life that is.  Jeez, I hope my Lady Friend doesn’t read this.

Since I am not your typical groom, getting married for the very first time at the ripe old age of 40, I thought I could bring a unique perspective to a whole process.  Which is what I am doing over the course of a few articles over there.

The first one went up today and is published under my pen name Jon.  I know, what a weird name to choose right?

I’d love you like a case of beer if you did me a favor and clicked over to read it.  And please comment there – I’d love to hear what you peeps think!

SD aka Jon